A FORMER Ulster and Ireland rugby player has told of how he descended into a life of drugs and spent time in prison after injury ended his sporting career.
Ryan Caldwell, who signed a professional contract with Ulster at age 19, said it was a "massive shift in life" after he was forced to retire from the sport aged just 30.
In an interview with The Irish Times, he said he went through a three-year period "constantly in a huge dark night of the soul" and "got involved with drugs and wasn’t with a great crowd".
"I was selling drugs and taking tablets," he said.
"Getting arrested. I ended up in Maghaberry. I was in there twice, six weeks at a time on remand. That’s where I tried to take my own life."
Caldwell (38), who won two Ireland caps, described how after his career ended, he "felt really vulnerable...there was a complete loss of identity" and he turned to drugs.
"There was a lot of cocaine. There were a lot of prescription tablets," he said.
"The hip operations got me onto prescription drugs."
He said he was speaking out about his experience in a bid to help others and has set up his own business, Inner Evolution in Belfast, which teaches students meditation and breath work.
"I know that I’ve opened a new chapter of their life through this work," he said.
"Just talking with people and showing that I care. People are dying for someone to put their arms around them and to tell them they are going to be okay.
"If I can get out of where I was, then I know you can get out and push through whatever you are going through.
"This whole journey I’ve lived has enabled me to do it."
