LOUISE James has described how the thousands of messages of sympathy, goodwill and hope she has received in the last three months have helped her during her grief.
Speaking to The Irish News, she said she is not yet ready to talk about the terrible tragedy she suffered but felt the need to publicly thank people from all over the world who have contacted her.
Louise’s life changed forever on March 20 when five members of her family died in the Buncrana pier tragedy.
Her partner Sean McGrotty (48), sons Mark (12) and Evan (8), her sister Jodie-Lee (14) and mother Ruth Daniels (58) all drowned when Mr McGrotty’s car slid on algae into the waters of Lough Swilly after a family day out.
The sole survivor was Louise’s baby daughter Ríoghnach.
In an act of supreme love, Mr McGrotty managed to pass the infant child into the arms of Donegal man Davitt Walsh before returning into the sinking car.
Mr Davitt, who had bravely swum out in a desperate attempt to help, was then able to bring the baby back to shore.
Louise said she had waited for a long time to decide how to thank the thousands of people who have offered her support.
“I couldn’t think of which paper to contact and I said ‘Sean, give me a sign'," she said. "Then at last week’s (Derry City) game, Margaret (McLaughlin, Irish News photographer) asked me about a picture in the stands and I thought, that’s it.”
With seven-month-old Ríoghnach smiling and laughing as she spoke, Louise said she had received thousands of letters, cards and messages of support.
They have come from Derry, Donegal, across Ireland and the US. The furthest was a message from a family in Australia who had absolutely no connection with Derry but read about the tragedy.
“I’m still receiving messages on a daily basis. It’s nice because I have read every single one and it makes you feel sometimes like you’re not the only one grieving.
"Even though I’ve had the biggest loss, you sort of feel that you are not on your own.”
People have also sent gifts, blankets and clothes for Ríoghnach.
Ms James said she has been particularly moved by countless children who sent their pocket money.
“Children have been sending cheques asking will you buy Ríoghnach a gift with our pay," she said.
“That really touched my heart, that really did.
“There was one from a wee boy of seven in Galway. I don’t want to single any out but he was around the same age as Evan and I know that’s what Evan would do."
The letters and cards have helped the Hazelbank woman focus on all the wonderful family memories she shared.
“Evan and Mark were very positive children. The letters I’m getting from children - their mammies and daddies should just be so proud of them. I am proud of Mark, Evan and Jodie Lee because they were like that too."
She believes the letters will also help her baby daughter as she grows up and comes to terms with what happened.
Louise paid tribute to all the passers-by who helped at the scene and those who supported her in the aftermath of the tragedy.
“I want to say a big thanks to everyone, starting with the people who were there that night, all the emergency services, the RNLI, all the staff at Letterkenny hospital, Davitt (Walsh) and (his girlfriend) Stephanie (Knox).
"I want to thank Connie and Theresa (McIntyre) because Connie and Theresa helped Davitt and Stephanie - they were there that night but have not really come into the picture. I want to thank Kay and Francis Crawford.
“I want to thank Fr Paddy O’Kane. He has been a tower of strength to me, he really has. He’s been at the door, he’s been at the house, he been at the other end of the phone.”
Attempting to ensure she has left no-one out, Ms James also thanked undertakers Willie O’Brien and his staff and the police for their help with the funeral.
And she had special thanks for her native Derry.
“I am so, so proud to be from Derry, all the businesses and all the clubs and everybody who put on events to help us. It means so much.
“For such a small town, it came together, city side and Waterside. I got books of condolences from everywhere and a particularly lovely one from Nelson Drive (a unionist area of Derry’s Waterside). That was lovely.
"It proved that our town can come together, whether you’re Catholic or Protestant, nothing matters in a time of need.”
She said no matter how small the gesture, everything has helped.
“Even the smallest letter and the smallest message has meant so much. It lets me know that everybody was touched by what happened and not just me and my family."
Louise said she hopes that by extending her “deep, deep thanks” through The Irish News, people would know how much the fact that they took time out to write meant to her and will mean to Ríoghnach in the years and decades to come.
And her final words were for family members and close friends.
“Obviously my greatest thanks must go to Sean’s family and my family and our close friends who have been with me every step of the way.”
