Here are some of Nicholas Parsons’ best quotes.
“I believe I would have got more work if I had been more rugged-looking.” (August 2015)
“The saddest thing about getting old is seeing my cricket bat in the corner and wondering if I will ever play again.” (June 2015)
“I have a very weak stomach. I am not sure how it would handle kangaroos’ testicles.” (December 2014)
“I see a lot of the young comedians think it is clever to use foul language and they think it is funny. It isn’t.” (November 2014)
“The open-necked shirt is really rather ugly. I have seen people with beautifully-tailored jackets on with an open shirt with an awful Adam’s apple there.” (August 2014)
“Why do people use the word ‘kids’? It makes children sound like small goats.” (January 2014)
“I can take a grandfather clock to pieces and put it back together again.” (September 2013)
“I get quite resentful when people ask if I am going to retire. I am in a profession that retires you. If you are no longer hacking it, you won’t be asked back, or the public won’t come and see you. They will let me know soon enough if I am not doing what I should: I’d be out on the rubbish dump.” (August 2011)
“People ask how I’ve survived so long. Well, I was in the Blitz and there was stoicism in adversity. And humour. Humour has sustained me.” (December 2010)
“I don’t know if men go bonkers in middle age. I’m bonkers half the time anyway, so I didn’t notice much.” (August 2009)
“We are rogues and vagabonds waiting by the phone, there to hire for our talents. A bit like prostitutes.” (March 2009)
