It’s been a minute since we checked in with the caricature that is Joey Essex.
Likely the real Joey Essex is a member of Mensa but the Joey we see on the telly thinks Mensa is a premiership footballer.
He’s in Australia at present, taking part in their version of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! because why wouldn’t you get some winter sun and see if you can get better your fourth place in the 2013 UK version?
Australian viewers have no idea who or what a Joey Essex is. According to Joey he’s an “international reality TV star” which is not a career option that was ever mentioned when Sleb Safari was at school.
Joey also has a clothing range and a selection of hair care products to his name so he's a business geezer too.
At 31, this reality TV veteran says he hopes to find love in the jungle which is vague, but it’s great that he’s keeping his options open.
His fellow contestants include the 2020 Miss Universe Australia, an Olympic gold medallist, a comedian, a country music star and a ‘fake’ camp mate who has to persuade everyone he’s a renowned shoe designer known as ‘The David’.
On top of his hopes of finding love in the jungle, Joey will be recouping the cost of repairs to his jacuzzi and “broken” pool area which were damaged in a storm last month.
Joey showed fans a flooded outdoor bubble bath, a palm tree that had snapped in two, broken lighting, a fallen basketball net and other calamities at his £3 million Essex home. Tragedy doesn’t begin to describe it. Truly this is the human face behind that ‘flooding in Essex’ story you saw on the news.
Joey has taken part in every reality TV show you could name. That includes Towie, I’m A Celebrity UK, Celebrity Ex On The Beach, Educating Joey Essex, The Jump, Celebs Go Dating, Celebrity MasterChef and Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins.
And who would have thought that I’m A Celebrity Australia would be more dangerous than Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins? Joey had to be rescued by a diver during an unpleasant underwater trial.
We cannot treat our telly treasures like this, it simply will not do. Would we put Maggie Smith in a pool of cold water, pop a lid on top and ask her to find air holes? We would not.
After what they’ve put Joey through Australia had better vote for that flamin’ galah to be crowned king of the jungle.
Jamie Dornan gets Santa Barbara Flm Festival accolade
CONGRATULATIONS to Jamie Dornan who is to receive a Santa Barbara International Film Festival’s Virtuosos Award.
He’s one of eight actors being celebrated, including his Belfast co-star Caitriona Balfe.
Belfast has seven Golden Globe nominations with Caitriona, Jamie and co-star Ciarán Hinds all in the running in the best supporting actor/actress categories.
We’ll find out today if they won their globes. Fingers crossed.
Jennifer Garner is the Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year
Jennifer Garner has been named Woman of the Year by Harvard University’s Hasty Pudding Theatricals.
The accolade is based on her acting career and work as a philanthropist and entrepreneur.
And what all that means is that Jennifer will be the guest of honour at a parade through Harvard Square, followed by a roast at which she will receive her pudding pot.
Hasty Pudding Theatricals bills itself as the third oldest theatre group in the world and created its Woman of the Year award in 1951 to honour people who have made “lasting and impressive contributions to the world of entertainment”.
Last year’s recipient was Viola Davis, and previous winners include Meryl Streep, Katharine Hepburn, Ethel Merman and Cher.
Congratulations Jennifer Garner!
Hugh Jackman on the mend after Covid
Just like your cousin, your neighbour and your child-minder, Hugh Jackman is getting over Covid.
He posted a video on his first jaunt out of the house after his self-isolation period ended and in it he praised healthcare workers.
“I cannot imagine how you guys are coping after two years of this exhausting, never-ending story that is Covid.
“Hospitals are struggling again and you guys just continue day in day out to take care of so many people”.
Amen to that.
