PARIS Hilton insists that she isn't going to be one of those demanding, bratty, over-the-top brides; she's just going to wear the 10 dresses at her wedding.
The hotel heiress, collector of Chihuahuas, podcaster provocateur, DJ, model, reality TV star and wearer of fingerless gloves is marrying her "twin flame" after he proposed on the golden sands of a private island, on her 40th birthday.
Twin Flame's name is Carter Reum and he's a venture capitalist, which ranks up there with hedge fund manager as a closer of casual conversations with strangers.
Carter got down on bended knee and presented Paris with a ring created by "a group of the finest diamond cutters, polishers, jewellers and setters", including the great-great grandson of Louis-Francois Cartier.
"When you find your soulmate, you don't just know it. You feel it," Paris explained afterwards on her social media accounts.
"I said yes, with all the joy and confidence and comfort that comes with knowing he's more than my love. He's my twin flame. My other half, my best friend and my soulmate."
Paris and Carter, two wicks on the one candle. Romantique. Those vows are going to write themselves.
Lovers in Paradise...? ????? pic.twitter.com/WRPUktj3pP
— Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton) August 24, 2021
Paris was on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon last week and explained just how "very stressful" she's finding wedding planning. Except for the choice of dress because she's just going to wear everything she tried on and liked - "lots of dresses, probably 10. I love outfit changes." And why the heck not.
The wedding festivities are taking place over a number of days and every guest will be given a warm Double Tree cookie upon arrival.
"It's gonna be like a three-day affair. We have a lot happening," she told Jimmy Fallon. The itinerary is very much in the early planning stages and Paris is open to collaboration and compromise and is "not a bridezilla at all". There's a TV show being made about the wedding so the proof will be in the pudding and the pudding is called Paris In Love.
Despite being, to borrow Jimmy Fallon's description, "one of the most famous DJs out there", Paris won't be partaking in a busman's holiday and will be treating guests to both a DJ and a band. And a 10pm buffet?
When you're Paris Hilton, hotel heiress, collector of Chihuahuas, podcaster provocateur, DJ, model, reality TV star and wearer of fingerless gloves, and you're marrying Carter Reum, venture capitalist, your wedding is going to be full-on extravagance. Place settings spelled out in diamonds and private jets to take the Chihuahuas back to their own beds, perhaps?
Now that Sleb Safari has lessened Paris and Carter's stress by giving them some quite excellent ideas all that's left to do is to wish the double wick couple the happiest of lives together.
Celebrity Masterchef is cooking up a storm
Thank to this panny Sleb Safari continues to clock up the TV watching hours and it's latest must watch is Celebrity Masterchef.
Week one was fun with Su Pollard and Bez making it through to the semi-finals. Week two had contestants like Penny Lancaster who had thought she might do a spot of cooking when she married Rod Stewart but was quickly introduced to his private chef and the candlelit, three-course dinners her husband insists upon. Finally Sleb Safari understands what all those women saw in Rod Stewart.
Last week's heat was particularly pleasing as none of the contestants were cooks - one had never even poached an egg - and they were just having a go.
In the wise words of Joe Swash who got mixed reviews for a dish: "It's really difficult to be disappointed when you get something you don't know nothing about, wrong".
Sleb Safari couldn't agree more.
Victoria Beckham's royal wedding headache
And so to Casa Beckham where wedding plans are also afoot. Eldest child and heir Brooklyn is marrying heiress and actor Nicole Peltz.
You might recall that for no real reason other than, perhaps, upcycling, Nicole had their wisdom teeth cast in gold and fashioned into necklaces. True love, people, true love. Their wedding vows should write themselves too.
According to Closer magazine, Brooklyn's mum is in a quandary over the guest list. Does she invite Harry and Meghan plus William and Kate or is it an either/or situation since, you know, there's been talk of a falling out or at least a froideur.
Victoria, this is very simple, invite Meghan and Kate and leave the boys at home.
