Sleb Safari: The reinvention of Matt Goss has begun

Matt Goss (left) and Luke Goss of Bros
Maeve Connolly

MATT Goss – the more intense of the Bros twins – is calling time on his Las Vegas residency and moving home.

Matt has the US convinced he's Frank Sinatra re-incarnated and is guaranteed a lifetime of sell-out gigs, but wants to return to Blighty because everyone has been lovely to him since the documentary he made with his brother, Luke, aired in December 2018.

"Since the documentary the British public have been an extended family to me," Matt told The Mirror.

"There's this incredible love and familiarity. People come up and give me a hug. My days in the UK are hugging and talking to people. I'm part of the furniture in the UK and it's a nice feeling."

If you've watched Bros: After The Screaming Stops you'll know why people are compelled to hug Matt. At times it felt like a mockumentary with Matt dropping Matt-isms a plenty – "The letters h-o-m-e are so important because they personify the word home" – but it was unexpectedly moving too, detailing the brothers' devastation at the death of their sister and mum plus the loss of their own relationship.

Matt's sights are set on returning to his home town. I really need to put my boots on the ground, definitely London. I've got to get back to London; my home," he says.

Boots on the ground, hmm... that's military terminology. You know what this is? It's an invasion. Matt is putting into action his plan to become a chat show king and British Prime Minister by the time he's 60. Who else but Matt Goss would consider one a warm-up for the other?

First Matt made it known that he had "a few thoughts on Brexit" and then last year announced via The Mirror that he wanted to be PM by 60 after having conquered the chat show format.

He has a few thoughts on both career choices. For the chat show, he wants guests and a sofa, but not guests on a sofa at the same time.

"I want to do a show that's not about me. I want it to be good conversation, fun and emotional," Matt explained.

"There would be three individual guests but I don't want my guests to share a couch. I think that being interviewed sometimes you feel like you don't have enough time. I want to have a slightly deeper dive. Something that has a sexy vibe."

And for his move into politics? He promises that removing the (imagined) mandatory wearing of safety goggles for children playing conkers will not be high on his agenda, despite getting het up about it in the documentary, and, thankfully, there's no mention of a "sexy vibe".

From pop to politics with a touch of Parky in between times. The reinvention of Matt Goss has begun.

Pete Davidson is regretting his tattoos

Pete Davidson

SPARE a thought for comic and actor Pete Davidson who is getting his 100+ tattoos removed one by painful one.

Pete got fed up having to start work three hours before everyone else so that make-up artists could cover his tattoos before filming.

"I'm now burning them off, but burning them off is worse than getting them," he told Late Night With Seth Meyers.

"They said by the time I'm 30 they should all be gone so they got, like, two more years left of this."

And Pete says the pain isn't even the worst part; the worst part is the embarrassment he feels at some of the choices he has made in tattoo parlours being described to him by the person with the laser who has to check before starting removal work on each inking.

"So I'll just be sitting there all high off the Pro-Nox, which I actually quite enjoy. It's actually pretty fun. And then, all of a sudden, I'll just hear, 'Are you keeping the Stewie Griffin smoking a blunt?'

"Yeah, it's really embarrassing,"

Do you know who else will be relieved when Pete's tattoos are all gone? The make-up artists who had to start work three hours earlier than everyone else.

Being famous doesn't make you immune to online unkindness

Iain Stirling 

There's no harm in being served a reminder that when we post on social media we can make our point without being unkind or cruel.

No-one ever thinks the famous person they are tweeting about or leaving a reply under their Instagram post are ever going to see what they've written, but Iain Stirling is here to tell you that you're wrong.

He explained to the Guardian that he looks for tweets about himself when he's at his lowest ebb.

"I put my name into Twitter when I am on my own, bored and feeling a bit paranoid or lonely. If somebody says something nasty about me and saw that I'd seen it, they'd probably think: 'Yeah that's arrogant Stirling looking up his own name.' Actually, I was probably just a little bit sad, and punishing myself for whatever reason."

That's sobering.

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