Sleb Safari: What does a superyacht smell like?

Does having a superyacht as your home office appeal to you?
Maeve Connolly

WHAT do you miss most about the office? The canteen? The camaraderie? The smell? If you answered ‘the smell’ then Sleb Safari would like to know where you work. Lush?

If your office does not smell like Lush yet you miss its aroma, take heart, there’s a company in New York producing office-scented candles. The range includes ‘breakfast leftovers in edit suite 01’, ‘room 12F.1 after a six-hour workshop’, ‘warm 96-page deck left on the printer’ and ‘hardworking blend of anti-perspirant and musky colognes, in the smallest conference room at RGA’.

An office-scented candle started as a fun leaving present for two senior colleagues and then other staff wanted in on it, along with clients and former employees, according to Katie Facada and Thibault Gerard who are creative directors with design firm RGA.

Katie told the Guardian how they created that initial candle.

“It was so messy. We boiled down the wax and threw in as many noxious scents as possible – booze, coffee beans, potato chips from the vending machine, shreds of paper to represent all the ideas they killed – then we Uber-rushed the candles to their homes.”

Colleagues have been suggesting new scents, Katie and Thibault said, and ‘someone microwaved fish in the kitchen’ is a recent standout.

It would make you want to work from home forever wouldn’t it?

How and ever, if you’re looking for a new home office might Sleb Safari be so bold as to suggest Steven Spielberg’s superyacht. Yachts are for the poor, superyachts like this one are listed for $160 million.

Your new floating work space is called Seven Seas, presumably in honour of the peddlers of cod liver oil capsules, is 85 metres long, has four decks and a fuel tank that can hold enough superyacht-juice to cross the Atlantic. It also needs a crew of 28.

Your office comes complete with a swimming pool and multiple spas for you to visit at lunchtime and tea breaks. There are 17 televisions dotted around the Seven Seas so you need never miss one moment of Pointless as well as a cinema room with the sort of sofas you would expect on a superyacht plus a baby grand piano in case Carole King drops by.

Architectural Digest has the intel on the fixtures and fittings: “When it came to design and decor, Spielberg called on the expertise of Nuvolari & Lenard and Molly Isaksen. Upon entering, there’s a wood-paneled common area that has elegant built-in shelves lined with books and even a bar set up with Guinness on draft.”

Yeah, it sounds nice and everything, but how does it smell????


Cher gets the film she deserves

Cher's life is going to be the subject of a biopic

THERE is going to be a film about Cher. This is not a drill. Repeat, this is not a drill.

The elephant rescuing, all caps tweeting Cher has teamed up with the people who made the two Mamma Mia! films for a biopic and Sleb Safari is very much on board with this.

Judy Craymer is one of the producers and says “one cannot help but be drawn to and inspired by Cher’s larger than life talent, fortitude, unique wit, warmth and vision”. Well, quite, Judy.

The as yet untitled film is going to be an instant classic that will turn into sing-along nights with 100 Chers in a room belting out If I Could Turn Back Time. It’s just what the doctor ordered.


Billy Porter's HIV diagnosis

Billy Porter at the 2019 Oscars. Picture by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Billy Porter has revealed he is HIV-positive and has been living with the disease for 14 years and in doing so has sent out an important message.

“This is what HIV-positive looks like now. I’m going to die from something else before I die from that,” was what he said and it’s a powerful statement.

“My T-cell levels are twice yours because of this medication,” he told The Holywood Reporter, adding that “I go to the doctor now – as a black, 51-year-old man, I go to the doctor every three months. That doesn’t happen in my community. We don’t trust doctors.

“But I go to the doctor, and I know what’s going on in my body. I’m the healthiest I’ve been in my entire life.

“So it’s time to let all that go and tell a different story. There’s no more stigma – let’s be done with that. It’s time.”

And he’s right, it is time to end the stigma of being HIV-positive.

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