I THINK this year has changed all of us beyond measure. I remember this time last year looking at 2020 with such hope. 2019 had been a very challenging year for me personally. I struggled a lot after witnessing a hugely traumatic incident – the murder of Lyra McKee – and in the months that followed it became very difficult for me to report from my own home town because of threats, intimidation, harassment and abuse.
I remember posting a Happy New Year message on my social media platforms on December 31 2019, symbolically putting an awful year behind me and looking forward with hope to the one ahead. Little did any of us know what was ahead back then. I said then that it was through challenge that we find our true selves and, looking back at the absolute hellstorm 2020 was, I think there was never a truer word spoken.
This year has been a hard, surreal, frightening, anxiety-inducing nightmare. Some of us have been sick. Some of us have lost loved ones. Many of us have lost businesses and jobs and the future is uncertain.
It would be so easy to be consumed by the darkness that surrounded us in 2020. For so long there seemed to be no end to the misery, to rising infection rates, to frightening death statistics, to the worrying statements from politicians, to the seemingly never-ending lockdowns.
But we didn't let it consume us. We got on with things, doing what we had to do to keep ourselves and those we love safe. We worked from home when we could. We learned from home. We masked up and we went to work, even though we were scared. We didn't let our children see our worries. We tried to keep everything as normal as possible in the most surreal of times. And we will continue to hunker down until the vaccine is put into our arms.
In the midst of it all, a lot of us have found our true selves. We have found resilience and courage where we thought none existed. We have reconnected with parts of us that were lost. We have looked at our lives and realised what is important and what must be cherished, and have let go of what doesn't serve us. Some of us might not be there yet. Some of us are still in survival mode and this change will happen later. But I've no doubt it will come eventually.
For me, this year gave me the opportunity to look at my life. After a 2019 full of challenge and trauma I realised I would probably never again be at ease on the streets I so loved as a reporter, the streets that made me feel so alive, but also bruised my very soul at times.
I changed jobs in the middle of a pandemic. I'm now a lecturer in Journalism at Ulster University. Teaching journalism and lighting a spark in the next generation was always something I had wanted to do and I found a new life away from those streets. After witnessing such brutal violence, I found my peace.
That, my family and the wonderful people 2020 have brought into my life, is what I will take away from this year, one like no other.
I think the New Year message this year is to hold tight to those around you and hold on. Better days are ahead of us. Think of the Spring and the promise of sunshine and the birds singing in the trees, laughter and spending beautiful days together. Think of the ease in your mind and know that everything is going to be OK. Hang on to hope.
Happy New Year to you and yours.
Leona x
