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Sleb Safari: Reality TV stars make the best Celebrity Supply Teachers

Maeve Connoly

Maeve Connolly

Maeve is the deputy digital editor at The Irish News. She has worked for the company since 2000.

Gemma Collins has added yet another string to her bow, becoming one of CBBC's Celebrity Supply Teachers
Gemma Collins has added yet another string to her bow, becoming one of CBBC's Celebrity Supply Teachers Gemma Collins has added yet another string to her bow, becoming one of CBBC's Celebrity Supply Teachers

YOU have to hand it to Gemma Collins, her modesty is limitless. Gemma is one of many famous names who have been asked to take part in the second series of CBBC's Celebrity Supply Teacher and she knows exactly why she was chosen.

"I might be Britain's number one reality star and best loved diva but being a celebrity supply teacher has been fantastic," she trilled, without placing as much emphasis as required on "might be".

"I have been passionate about business ever since I was a child," the GC explained.

"We were quite poor growing up, we didn't have luxuries, and seeing my father set up his own business and seeing how our lives changed really motivated me to become a business person myself.

"I have loved passing on my top business tips learnt over the years to the next generation of entrepreneurs."

Gemma is a successful businesswoman, no doubt about it. And just last month, in a world exclusive, Sleb Safari revealed that the GC had to get A4 business cards printed because even using both sides, the little ones were just too small.

Gemma Collins: Trapdoor phobe; Towie, I'm A Celebrity and Celebrity Big Brother scene stealer; cleanser of negative energy from the Dancing on Ice rink; businesswoman; home schooler; Diva Forever and Nobel Peace Prize nominee.

She'll have to get new ones printed now that she's added the Celebrity Supply Teacher string to her bow.

Now's as good a time as any to cast our minds back to lockdown, when Gemma moved in with her brother, his wife and their sons and helped with the home schooling. Gemma went to live with them because she didn't want to navigate lockdown in solitude, explaining that: "GC will never be alone, I can't bear being alone. Marilyn didn't like being alone and nor do I". Spoken like a true reality TV star.

She covered geography, French and Spanish with her nephews but struggled with the maths classes.

"I was terrible at the maths though," she told her podcast listeners. "Thank God I'm not at school anymore, it all seems a little bit more involved.

"I've got to be honest, algebra and all of that, why do they teach the kids algebra? Because when you leave school, you know you don't really use it, I've never been asked an algebra question in my career."

The CBBC bosses must have glossed over Gemma's calls for algebra to be deleted from the curriculum and prudently sought another famous face to teach the maths class.

CBBC is on to something with reality TV stars as teachers. Spencer Matthews could give a ski lesson; Bobby Norris could teach students how to rustle up swimwear from an empty crisp packet and Joey Essex could talk to the children about the importance of staying in school.

Henceforth, Sleb Safari shall refer to it as the 'Collins' Curriculum' and would encourage education authorities to consider adopting it, tout suite.

Pat Sharp's mullet was sharp

PAT Sharp, Fun House host and the owner/wearer of a hairstyle that was as iconic as The Rachel but less requested at the hairdresser, has finally confirmed what we always suspected – his wife made him get rid of the mullet.

Pat told the story to The Guardian and it's very, uhhhm, dramatic. The way Pat tells it, he was driving along when his "huge new carphone" rang and his wife, Monica, said "Can you come home now? We need to talk".

Pat continues: "We had an au pair at the time who put the kids in a separate room while Monica sat me down and said: 'Can you please cut your hair?' I was so relieved she wasn't unwell and nothing bad had happened that I said yeah. It was only afterwards that I went: 'Oh s***, really?'"

There are more questions than answers in that story.

Pat said "it was time to grow up" and although "it's a cool thing to look back on... I couldn't have it now. I'd look like Joe Exotic."

Or Pat Sharp, circa 1991.

Hugh Grant has an idea for a Notting Hill sequel

Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts in the film Notting Hill
Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts in the film Notting Hill Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts in the film Notting Hill

Hugh Grant has floated the notion of a sequel to Notting Hill, which is already 21-years-old. Hugh wants to revisit bookseller Will Thacker and Hollywood star Anna Scott as they divorce, which isn't in the spirit of the original film but hey ho.

"I would like to do a sequel to one of my own romantic comedies that shows what happened after those films ended," he told HBO.

"I'd like to do me and Julia and the hideous divorce that's ensued with really expensive lawyers, children involved in [a] tug of love, floods of tears. Psychologically scarred forever. I'd love to do that film."

And after that Hugh? Do we have to watch you dismantle every romcom you've starred in? Sleb Safari doesn't want to watch that particular sequel to Love Actually, thanks very much.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

He does it all

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