Sleb Safari: Psychic Sinitta and her misadventures in the kitchen

Sinitta in her palm leaf bikini with a startled Simon Cowell plus her jaunty I'm A Celebrity outfit

SINITTA, of So Macho fame and that unforgettable, unfathomable palm leaf bikini she wore to greet the 2009 X Factor contestants at Simon Cowell’s house, is convinced that she and Simon have a psychic connection.

What’s that you say? Not psychic enough that Simon’s ‘please, please, please, don’t superglue four palm leaves together and call it a bikini’ message got through?

Sinitta says Simon knew without being told that she had contracted Covid-19 early in the pandemic and she puts this "psychic" connection down to them being like siblings at this stage of their long friendship.

She says Simon rang because he hadn’t heard from her in a while and barked: “You’ve got it, haven’t you?”

“Not even hello first!” Sinitta says.

“And he said, ‘I knew it, I b****y knew it, I can just tell when something’s wrong with you’.”

Sinitta told The Express that she felt dreadful for a few weeks during what must have been a frightening experience.

“I was actually [worried] because you’re sort of reading the news and getting these news alerts on your phone all the time with the death toll and thinking, oh my gosh.

“And I knew I had it, I felt very ill, but I didn’t feel ill enough to die if that makes any sense.” It’s the most lucid you’ve been Sinitta. Do continue.

“In the very early stages we didn’t know what degrees there were of it, so you didn’t know if you suddenly just don’t wake up or if you feel very ill first. So I was quite worried and I was so exhausted because it really made me sleep a lot so I kind of slept for the first few weeks of it and then it just started to feel better.”

What other things did you notice Sinitta?

“What was weird as well is that they hadn’t talked about the loss of smell and taste at the time and I kept cooking food and burning it because you know when you put food in the oven you can start to smell it more?

“And I just kept thinking I must have forgotten to turn the oven on because I can’t smell it and it would be burnt to a crisp and I couldn’t smell it burning. That happened twice in a row before I actually started to come down with heavy symptoms.”

Is this how Sinitta judges food to be cooked? When she detects a burning smell? It’s an unusual barometer and one that’s unlikely to see her invited on to Celebrity MasterChef. More’s the pity.

‘Well John and Gregg with two Gs; I wasn’t sure how long it would need in the oven and rather than check the recipe or open the oven door and take a look I just waited until thick black smoke filled the room and then I knew it was ready. Tuck in!’

If Celebrity MasterChef dropped the ‘master’ from the title, worked on a public voting system and Sinitta resurrected that palm leaf bikini she would win hands down. Hold on one rooting tootin’ minute; has Sleb Safari just come up with the world’s greatest TV show???


Spice Girls will reunite 'because Victoria Beckham feels lonely'

The Spice Girls

THE Spice Girls turn 25 next year and there’s talk that they’ll reform and tour the world. Kerching!

Victoria has resisted all reunion invitations thus far; except for the taxi journey across London Stadium for the Olympics closing ceremony.

The Mels, Emma and newly posh Geri are keen to get the band back together but Victoria has demurred. Fortunately, some showbiz sources have come forward with goss from the discussions they suggest Victoria and David have been having about it.

“With David soon set to return to Miami, Victoria is worried about spending long chunks of time apart from him again and has been thinking about how nice it would be to regroup with the girls on a friendship level,” the sources told new! magazine.

“She hopes if she joined them for a reunion it would do just that, as she’s admitted to pals she’s been feeling rather lonely lately.

“David has apparently been encouraging her to do it, he joked about how he’d love to be dating Posh Spice again.”

Wow, it’s like reading a transcript from Alexa. Sleb Safari is going straight down the bookies to put a bet on a royal flush of Spice Girls.


Pasha Kovalev and Rachel Riley's Russian lockdown

Rachel Riley and Pasha Kovalev

Former Strictly Come Dancing professional Pasha Kovalev and his Countdown presenter wife Rachel Riley had an intense lockdown.

Pasha’s mum came over from Russia to stay with the couple and their baby daughter for a month at the start of the year and then, boom, lockdown happened and she ended up staying for five months.

What a lovely way for them all to bond. Except that Pasha’s mum doesn’t speak English and Rachel says her Russian is terrible. Russian isn’t really a language you can get by in, is it? You either know it or you don’t. It’s not like French where you can dredge up phrases from the school memory bank in your brain.

Family games of Countdown must have been an absolute nightmare. Heartfelt sympathy must go to the household translator.


Social Media Smut


Wednesday holiday ?? delayed flight - 25 years ago.

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