Sleb Safari: Goodbye to Keeping Up With The Kardashians
CAN you believe the Kardashians have cancelled their own TV show? Sleb Safari thought it would still be watching them in season 400 of Keeping Up With The Kardashians in The Kare Home.
Kourtney, still displaying no emotions at 94. Kim, still obsessively Photoshopping selfies at 93. And Khloe, still contouring at 89. All of them still eating those huge bowls of lettuce for lunch from the same place in Calabasas and still surrounded by glass domes filled with cookies stacked with the precision of a Jenga champion. Sleb Safari often wonders if their food waste is eight parts cookies and two parts single colour M&Ms.
The Kardashian and Jenner ladies plus momager Kris pulled the plug on Keeping Up With The Kardashians after 14 years and 20 series. Credit where credit’s due, they made millions simply by selling the rights to their privacy.
Kim made a lengthy announcement on social media, saying that without the show she “wouldn’t be where I am today”.
“I am so incredibly grateful to everyone who has watched and supported me and my family these past 14 incredible years. This show made us who we are and I will be forever in debt to everyone who played a role in shaping our careers and changing our lives forever.”
Pre-global fame, Kim helped celebrities Marie Kondo their wardrobes and sell what didn’t spark joy on eBay. Paris Hilton was one of her clients, as were Serena Williams, Cindy Crawford, Brandy, Rob Lowe and Sheryl Berkoff.
Then a leaked sex tape happened, followed by Keeping Up With The Kardashians and the rest is history. The show ‘inspired’ 12 spin-off series – Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, Kourtney and Kim Take New York, Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, Kourtney and Khloe Take the Hamptons, Khloe and Lamar, Sex with Brody, I Am Cait, DASH Dolls, Life of Kylie, Rob & Chyna, Revenge Body with Khloe Kardashian and Flip It Like Disick.
So, if Sleb Safari has got this right, Kourtney and Khloe took Miami and then Kourtney showed Kim how to take Miami? What a lovely big sister Kourtney is; always looking out for the younger, less streetwise Kardashians.
The five Kardashian and Jenner sisters have multiple businesses, be it cosmetics, clothing, fragrance, mobile phone games and the hundreds of thousands of dollars they receive for a social media post promoting a product to their millions of followers.
They’ve outgrown the show and its marketing potential but this is a family that knows how to rebrand and Sleb Safari feels, like, super excited but also, like, a little anxious, to see what emerges once all the Kardashians and Jenners have shed their skin.
Golden Girls remake? Yes please
“THANK you for being a friend. Travelled down a road and back again. Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant.” If you know those lyrics then you’re a fan of Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia aka The Golden Girls.
There was a mini-remake of the show a few nights ago to raise funds for the US online racial justice organisation Color of Change.
Tracee Ellis Ross was Rose, Regina King was the sassy Dorothy, Alfre Woodard was Sophia of “Picture it, Sicily, 1922” fame and Sanaa Lathan was Blanche.
Here’s hoping the one-off becomes a permanent thing. The Golden Girls is ripe for a remake and it would be brilliant to see what these four actors bring to the table.
The Troubled Blood countdown is live
ONLY 15 more days to wait until the latest instalment in Robert Galbraith's Cormoran Strike series is published. Troubled Blood will be the fifth in what Galbraith/JK Rowling says is a series of 10 novels. Series 4 of Strike, the BBC's adaptation of the books, finished last night and if you've never watched it you really ought to. Holliday Grainger and Tom Burke are perfectly cast as Robin and Cormoran. Do yourself a favour and catch up on the iPlayer.
Social Media Smut
Celebrity family portraits are the best. Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez’s latest are a case in point. The pictures are beautiful, their merged family is beautiful, their outfits are beautiful but look at Jennifer’s pose. Pure Angelina Jolie at the 2012 Oscars. Who stands like that? Love it. More please J Lo.