Sleb Safari: Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom introduce baby Daisy and Hozier has a Squidward moment
EXCUSE me. Hello? *taps mic* Amanda Holden has an announcement to make. She’d like it to go on record that she correctly predicted the name chosen by chanteuse Katy Perry and her naked paddleboarding fiancé Orlando Bloom for their baby girl.
Yes, Amanda, you and about 2.4 million other people correctly predicted Daisy on the basis that Katy told everyone she was having a baby girl and kept littering her Instagram account with pictures of daisies and released a single called Daisies in May. How and ever, Daisy Bloom is a beautiful name and the baby’s full name – Daisy Dove Bloom – is even more beautiful. Why has Dove been overlooked as a name?
*mic tap* Sleb Safari would like it placed on record that it is very much pro-Dove.
Having a baby during a global pandemic wasn’t high on anyone’s to-do list but Katy and Orlando are just like millions of other parents; playing the hand they’ve been dealt.
Posted @withregram • @unicef Welcome to the world, Daisy Dove Bloom! We are honoured to introduce Goodwill Ambassadors @KatyPerry and @OrlandoBloom’s new bundle of joy.? ? “We are floating with love and wonder from the safe and healthy arrival of our daughter,” Katy and Orlando told us.? ? “But we know we’re the lucky ones and not everyone can have a birthing experience as peaceful as ours was. Communities around the world are still experiencing a shortage of healthcare workers and every eleven seconds a pregnant woman or newborn dies, mostly from preventable causes. Since COVID-19 many more newborn lives are at risk because of the increased lack of access to water, soap, vaccines and medicines that prevent diseases. As parents to a newborn, this breaks our hearts, as we empathize with struggling parents now more than ever.? ? “As UNICEF Goodwill Ambassadors, we know UNICEF is there, on the ground, doing whatever it takes to make sure every expecting mother has access to a trained health worker and access to quality healthcare. In celebration of the heart we know our daughter already has, we have set up a donation page to celebrate DDB’s arrival. By supporting them, you are supporting a safe start to life and reimagining a healthier world for every child. We hope your ?? can bloom with generosity.? ? Gratefully-? ? Katy & Orlando.”? ? Please tap the link in our bio to support the most precious gift: a healthy child.
Another couple whose 2020 didn’t pan out the way it was supposed to was Angel and Dick Strawbridge.
Their show was torpedoed by coronavirus. Instead of filming series seven of Escape to the Chateau, a programme that is as enjoyable and as comforting as a huge mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows aplenty, the couple and Channel 4 had to get creative and came up with Escape to the Chateau: Make Do and Mend.
The Strawbridges film Make Do And Mend themselves and, via Skype, help people tackle their own renovation and DIY projects.
The projects range from, well, Sleb Safari doesn’t want to say from the sublime to the ridiculous but let’s just say they had to ‘teach’ someone how to build a campfire. You know who wept.
And spare a thought for Hozier who accidentally made public an Instagram video he’d intended to share with friends.
Instagram’s ‘Add to Story’ button is right beside its ‘Add to Close Friends’ button and so Hozier made public a video of himself with the Handsome Squidward filter. Said filter bestows upon the Instagram user the features of a chiselled Squidward the octopus from a 2007 episode of Spongebob Squarepants in which a door was slammed in his face. In short, it’s the filter which should be applied to every image, whether that be a wedding picture or an office ID worn around the neck on a lanyard. An office ID! How 2019 of Sleb Safari.
Hozier was somewhat mortified when he realised what he had done.
“Hahaha Inconsolable weeping… That handsome Squidward content was just for the boys. Pray for me. Thank you.”
Hozier, relax. If you can’t share a Squidward-ed video of yourself during a global pandemic when all the normal rules are out the window when can you? Let’s everyone be a bit more Accidental Squidward Hozier.
I'm A Celebrity Has Found Its Castle
SAD news, they're not going to be filming I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here at Carrickfergus Castle after all. There's every chance they couldn't find celebrities brave enough to sign up. Instead, the new series will be filmed at Gwrych Castle in Abergele, North Wales.
Richard Cowles, director of entertainment at ITV Studios, said: “The Australian jungle is such an integral part of the show, it was a big challenge to find a UK location where we could continue to deliver what viewers love about I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!
“But Gwrych will definitely do that – the castle sits in an amazing and atmospheric setting on a hillside overlooking the Irish Sea."
Sleb Safari looks forward to finding out what Gwrych Castle has that Carrickfergus Castle doesn't.
Britain's Got Talent is back
‘GOOD’ news, Britain’s Got Talent is back on the telly this Saturday. The auditions were held earlier this year and we’re at the semi-final stage. Some acts will perform via video link from their home, others will be in the TV studio but without a live audience present.
ITV says a virtual audience will watch from home and their reactions broadcast into the studio on a giant screen.
Excited? You should be.
Tom Cruise and his mask become a moment
HAVE you seen Tom Cruise’s video of his trip to the cinema in London? It is peak Tom Cruise. Never has there been a man as committed to a polo neck. Tom is wearing a face mask throughout the video; in the taxi, posing in front of the poster for Tenet, the film he’s going to see, and in the cinema which seems reasonable.
In a classic Cruise move he’s on his feet applauding the film before everyone else in the cinema then runs up the stairs and out of the screening like an action hero who’s been given a mission.
Tom, never stop being you.