Sleb Safari: I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Carrickfergus Castle!
I’M A Celebrity 2020 is going to be set in Carrickfergus Castle. Rumour has it there’s a global pandemic called coronavirus which will prevent the I’m A Celebrity team from travelling to Australia so this year’s show is going to be filmed in a castle on the British Isles and Sleb Safari is campaigning for Carrickfergus Castle. It makes sense.
Director of Entertainment at ITV Studios Richard Cowles said they had "pulled out all the stops to try and make the series happen in Australia".
"Unfortunately, due to the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic and despite us looking at many different contingencies, it became apparent that it just wasn't possible."
Let’s have the campmates in Carrickfergus Castle for three weeks in winter. Sleb Safari nominates Kris Jenner, Eamonn Holmes, Megan Thee Stallion, Gregg Wallace, Katie Taylor, Jane McDonald, Marvin Humes, Ruth Jones, Oti Mabuse, Nico Simeone, Liam Payne and Mehreen Baig as campmates.
Nico for the cooking; Jane and Megan for the singing; Eamonn for the ‘when I was a wee boy’ stories and the rest for general usefulness, chattiness and skills they can teach to the rest of the camp to keep spirits high.
It’ll be a very different camp this year. No sunshine and no spiders for a start. They might get to sleep in hammocks and use a dunny but it’ll be hypothermia and not a funnel-web that could finish them off.
There’ll be no need to pack a bikini for the waterfall shower. They’ll have to kit out in wetsuits plus booties and gloves if they want to have a dip in Belfast Lough in December.
As for trials? What about working a shift in the chippy at tea time on a Friday? Or shovelling enough coal into the boilers at Kilroot Power Station to power a ferris wheel for a fortnight?
Sleb Safari is no fan of rats but if it had to lie in a ditch while they swarmed over it, Sleb Safari would take an Australian rat over a local rat any day. They just seem more chill.
This year’s jungle jail is easy – the dungeon. The castle is supposedly haunted too, by a lonely gent called Button Cap who sounds like a children’s TV character from the 70s. Button carries his head under his arm as he walks the battlements which means he’s missing out on the views across the lough but each to his own.
Campmates traditionally get treats when they complete tasks. In previous years they’ve reacted like children on Christmas morning to chocolate, strawberries, cocktails and a roast dinner. This year the Carrickfergus campers could enjoy a run up the road to Larne for a supermarket sweep in the off-licence in Asda. Or what about a warm cup of Bovril to keep the cold out?
Last year 13 million people tuned in to the first night of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! Pffffft. Twice that would watch the launch of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Carrickfergus Castle!
Sheryl Crowe on playing verbal tennis with Keith Richards
SHERYL Crowe has been chatting to the Sunday Times about her new album and the artists with whom she collaborated.
“It sounds like I’m dropping names, but Keith Richards is indeed a friend and he’s exactly as you would hope he would be,” she confided.
“He’s a softie – he loves who he loves – and when you have a conversation with Keith it is like playing tennis with John McEnroe.”
What, he yells at the other people in the room and hurls his tea cup at the wall when he disagrees with you? Sounds terrifying Sheryl.
Three Men And A Baby Remake
WOULD you like to hear something that is guaranteed to make you feel as old as the hills? Worse even than Brooklyn Beckham getting engaged? Here it is – they’re remaking Three Men and a Baby with Zac Efron as one of the men.
The original was made in 1987 which makes baby Mary a woman in her 30s. It would be a nice touch if she had a cameo in the remake.
Steve Coogan on the power of laughter
STEVE Coogan has been talking about the power of laughter on the podcast Elevenses with Danielle Perry.
“There’s something about making people laugh which is a gift," he explained.
“I was probably more dismissive of it when I was younger but, as I’ve gotten older, I realised that, when we have problems or are dealing with things as a group or as individuals, often the only comfort left is laughter.
“So, I sort of treat it with more respect now… it’s an old cliché about laughter being the best medicine but I think it is profoundly true.
“Even though I’ve done the more serious stuff occasionally, and even in the serious stuff I’ve done this – using humour to sugar the pill of different topics. And comedy is how you sugar the pill of life.”
Sugaring the pill of life with laughter; what a great ambition.