Life

Sleb Safari: Joe Swash and his night as a garden gnome

Stacey Solomon and Joe Swash pictured hours after what was likely a good night's sleep, in a bed, not a shed

And so it came to pass that the follicly blessed Joe Wicks stopped his morning PE class. Praises be. There ends 18 long weeks of feeling slovenly for not joining in. Joe was emotional after finishing his final 9am work out and confirmed that all his star jumping and bunny hopping raised £580,000 for the NHS. Well done Joe; treat yourself to a lie-in now.

Someone else celebrating is retired supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Gisele turned 40 and has committed to planting 40,000 trees to mark the milestone. She is going to plant them back home in Brazil, in the Amazon rainforest. Gosh, what a devil may care attitude; she’ll never get that Pond’s hand cream advert if she digs holes for 40,000 saplings.

"I feel like a whole new chapter of my life is starting, and I wanted to celebrate it in a meaningful way, so I decided to plant 40,000 trees,” she posted on Instagram.

"I have been planting trees for different projects for years, as I feel that this is the best way I know to give back to Mother Earth."

If the numbers of trees she plants annually increases in line with her age, by the time she reaches 100 she’ll have reforested the planet, never mind the Amazon. Sleb Safari is going to give a high five and a tip of the hat to Gisele for her altruism.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

As some of you know, my birthday is coming up on July 20th. And it’s not just any birthday! I can’t believe I am turning 40! I feel like a whole new chapter of my life is starting, and I wanted to celebrate it in a meaningful way, so I decided to plant 40,000 trees. I have been planting trees for different projects for years, as I feel that this is the best way I know to give back to Mother Earth. This year, to celebrate my birthday, my family and I had planned to plant trees in the Amazon rainforest in Brazil but, as we all know, that is not possible right now. Then I had another thought! What if I could come up with a way for others to help me plant trees there? I've already talked to my family and my friends—and they will all turn their gifts into trees. That way, we can all help give something back to our planet. In case you also feel inspired to give back to the Earth, you can join me and plant a tree in the Amazon rainforest. Just go to www.vivaavida.gift to donate (link in bio). #vivaavidagb40 Talvez alguns de voce?s ja? saibam, meu aniversa?rio ta? chegando, dia 20 de julho. E na?o e? qualquer aniversa?rio. Nem acredito que vou fazer 40 anos! Sinto que um novo capi?tulo esta? comec?ando na minha vida e queria comemorar de um jeito especial, por isso decidi plantar 40.000 a?rvores. Ha? anos venho plantando a?rvores em diferentes projetos, pois sinto que essa e? uma forma de retribuir a ma?e Terra e, este ano, para celebrar meu aniversario tinha planejado ir como minha fami?lia plantar na Amazo?nia. Mas como sabemos, isso na?o e? possi?vel neste momento. Enta?o, ja? que na?o da? para ir, pensei: que tal criar um jeito para que qualquer um possa me ajudar a plantar a?rvores la?? Ja? falei pra toda minha fami?lia e amigos: quem quiser me presentar pode me dar a?rvores. Desse jeito, no?s todos podemos retribuir de alguma forma ao nosso planeta. Se voce? tambe?m se sentir inspirado e quiser contribuir com a ideia, pode se juntar a no?s e plantar a?rvores. O link esta? la? na minha Bio! Viva a Vida! #vivaavida

A post shared by Gisele Bu?ndchen (@gisele) on

The next home on our whistlestop tour of Slebdom is that of TV presenters Stacey Solomon and Joe Swash.

Stacey is a giggler. She’s a honker. And there’s nothing nicer than someone who loves to laugh. Stacey was in kinks the other morning when she realised she’d locked Joe out and he’d had to sleep in the shed.

Our hungover hero had gone out to celebrate his sister’s 30th birthday and Stacey said she had presumed he would stay overnight with a friend or family member. Instead, he arrived home to locked doors and a sleeping family.

Very much deterred, Joe had to cuddle up to a lawnmower in the garden shed. All was well until 3am.

“I got really dehydrated about three o’clock and sat in the middle of my garden drinking out of a hose, like a frickin’ garden ornament,” he grumbled in Stacey’s Instagram stories.

When he finally got back into his own home Joe spent the rest of the morning napping on the sofa and worrying about what he might have caught from the garden hose.

Joe, there’s gnome need to worry; gnome need to worry at all.

 

Gemma Collins is flogging hand sanitiser now

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

YEAH BABY it’s here the GC hand sanitizer SOLD EXCLUSIVE at www.gemmacollinscollection.com

A post shared by Gemma Collins (@gemmacollins1) on

Time for a quick peek through Gemma Collins’ shop window. The GC has been selling hot pink £12 face masks for a while and as of a handful of days ago has increased the range to include hand sanitiser.

The £5 Advanced Hand Sanitiser comes in a tiny 60ml bottle and is “fabulous for keeping your hands fresh”.

Gemma, are you OK hun? The purpose of hand sanitiser is not to keep your hands fresh, it’s to kill germs and prevent the spread of things like, oh, coronavirus. You might have heard of it?

Right, the 8pm #ClapForCollins has been cancelled.

 

Martha Stewart's thirst trap gets the Chelsea Handler treatment

Martha Stewart has posted the ultimate thirst trap on her Instagram. Look at that pout! And her hair and make-up! Full marks Martha. She posted a very descriptive caption about her pool but she can’t throw us off the scent that easily.

“My pool in East Hampton is the place to be on a 89 degree day! When I built the pool thirty years ago it was designed to be as chlorine free as possible, with a natural concrete finish – no paint – and it fit in a long narrow space between the house and the property line,” she wrote.

“I made it extra deep for diving and with no protruding steps so we could really race the length without worrying about obstacles. After all these years, it is a fun place to swim!!!”

Chelsea Handler posted her own version of Martha’s pool pic with the caption: “I’m here to take @marthastewart48’s swimming lesson. If I look this good at 78 I better still have a pool to show myself off in.” And Martha helpfully critiqued it.

“Dear Chelsea, I’m so happy that you liked my post well enough to emulate it. I do think that my pool is a little bit prettier than yours and that my facial expression is a little bit more relaxed.”

Keep it up ladies. Let’s have more Martha and Chelsea collaborations.

 

Social Media Smut

 

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