Sleb Safari: Gregg Wallace wants to be the new Joe Wicks
GREGG Wallace, MasterChef judge and collector of wives, is poised to topple Joe Wicks from his Body Coach podium. No, Sleb Safari cannot believe it has written those words either.
The self-proclaimed ‘bald king’ has lost four stone over the past couple of years which is a feat – well done Gregg – and now he’s launching a fitness and lifestyle empire.
For £7 a month you can learn how to cook healthy meals, follow a Gregg Wallace-endorsed exercise plan, receive Gregg Wallace-endorsed motivational advice and buy branded merchandise. Sleb Safari will only purchase Gregg Wallace approved athleisure if it has BALD KING emblazoned across it in the style of a Juicy Couture tracksuit.
Showme.fit with Gregg Wallace launches later this week and the length of time it takes for him to go full Gwyneth and start selling the kind of candles we wish he wouldn’t is anyone’s guess. Much like Gwyneth, Gregg is an oversharer so Sleb Safari is going to predict it’ll be within the year.
Gregg had previously told the Sun that he “made a conscious decision to cut down on fried and high sugar foods, as well as booze – which helped me lose weight”.
“When I was at my biggest, I was having a daily fry up, fish and chips once per week, takeaway a couple more times and drinking beer nearly every day.”
He also got a personal trainer because you can’t grow muscles in a vegetable patch.
Gregg has chronicled his weight loss ‘journey’ on Instagram because, as well we know, it did not happen unless it appeared on the ‘gram and most days he posts an Instagram Story of workout exercises and tips. He’s been doing bear crawls around his hall and ski sits in the dining room. It’s been a great pandemic watch and Sleb Safari cannot understand why it never features in any ‘what to watch or stream this week’ lists.
Gregg is married to his fourth wife, Anna, and Sleb Safari admires that level of positivity and optimism. He’s basically a 55-year-old Annie.
Gregg fell for two of his wives, Anna and Anna’s predecessor, on Twitter when they inquired about serving rhubarb with duck (Anna) and celery (the predecessor). The way to Gregg’s heart is most definitely through his stomach.
He once said that his idea of roughing it on holidays “is staying in a hotel with slow room service” and he and Anna live with her parents, who are Italian, and they all love to cook so losing four stone and maintaining a healthy weight really is an achievement.
This new venture is to be applauded, nay, subscribed to. Let’s encourage this to the point where we’re doing daily PE sessions that start at 8.55am and logging on for Yoga with Gregg, clad head to toe in Bald King merchandise. Let’s make this happen.
David Beckham loves playing dress up
AND so to David Beckham whose Instagram account is the gift that keeps giving. A recent post has him strolling through the countryside dressed in suitable attire – cords, a woolly jumper, flat cap and a staff.
It’s summer in the south of England so the jumper is confusing.
You just know David Beckham is that person who buys the entire outfit before doing any activity, even for the very first time.
We already know that he likes to dress as a wealthy shepherd when he goes for a country walk. How much do you want to bet he puts on the full Man United strip for a kickabout in the garden with his children?
Sleb Safari imagines that his walk-in wardrobe contains, among a great many other items, a pilot’s uniform for when he flies (as a passenger), tennis whites, a monocle and smoking jacket, plus fours and knee socks... It would be a dress-up dream. Harper and Victoria must love it in there.
Tiffany Haddish on the joys of a nap
Tiffany Haddish, of self deprecating humour and the ‘she ready’ catchphrase, has been chatting to the Hollywood Reporter for its comedy actress roundtable.
She, Jane Levy, Jameela Jamil, Robin Thede and Amy Sedaris were all asked whether the coronavirus pandemic had made them take stock of their professional life and make decisions about the future.
Tiffany had a very clear answer.
“Oh, I'm definitely choosing differently. First, I've been napping, and I think naps are magic, so when we get back out there, I'm definitely putting in my contracts that I have to have a one-hour nap. That means nobody talking to me, nobody trying to go, ‘Hey, can we go over these lines?’ I need one hour to shut my eyeballs.”
The lady has a point. Naps are magical.