Ask Fiona: Can I trust my husband with his gambling problem?
Columnist and trained counsellor Fiona Caine advises a woman whose husband is a gambling addict, and another who dislikes her daughter's boyfriend
Try not to get upset – your boyfriend may just need time to think about things
I'VE been married for six months and I'm being forced to face up to the fact there's a real problem in my marriage. My husband has always been very outgoing and generous with presents and things. I did used to wonder where he got his money from, and why sometimes he'd go ages without getting me anything then I'd get a load of things all at once.
Now I've found the reason. It turns out my husband is a compulsive gambler – and the only reason I found out was after a large chunk of our savings disappeared. He didn't want to tell me at first but eventually he admitted what he'd done with it.
He said he thought he had kicked the habit when he met me – but it's clear he hasn't. I do love him and have forgiven him, but I don't know how I can ever trust him. He has promised it won't happen again, but how can I be sure he means it?
MY BOYFRIEND GETS SUCH BAD ROAD RAGE
MY boyfriend is a gentle guy – until he's behind the wheel of his car. He then becomes really aggressive and screams at every other road user. I've even known him chase after someone who's upset him so he can give them a piece of his mind.
One day he's going to get himself really hurt by taking on someone who is not going to be so easily intimidated. He says that if people are not told that they are driving badly they'll go on being dangerous. Is he right and should I accept this?
HE PROPOSED – THEN CHANGED HIS MIND
THREE months ago, I met a man who was, I thought, going to be the love of my life. We made love for the first time a few weeks ago, when admittedly we were a bit drunk after a party.
It was wonderful and afterwards he asked me to marry him. Two days later though, he told me he'd made a mistake and didn't want to see me anymore.
Since then I have been in a complete daze. How can someone offer marriage then just dump you? Do you think I could persuade him to come back?
I DON'T LIKE MY DAUGHTER'S BOYFRIEND
I DO not trust my daughter's new boyfriend. He says he loves her and wants to be with her – but every chance he gets, he goes off to see his ex-wife and children. This doesn't strike me as the behaviour of someone who is committed to my daughter.
She hasn't said anything to me but she must be worried.
Do you think I should say something to him? I wish she were with someone else.