Sleb Safari: It's the Goop holiday gift guide
HELLO and welcome to our annual perusal of the Goop holiday gift guide. Sleb Safari always looks forward to this time we spend together, digitally circling the gifts we’d like Santa to bring us plus the ones that make us roar with laughter.
And on that note, may Sleb Safari draw your attention to a $949 jungle gym for cats. "Great for multi-cat households," the handmade structure features two covered treehouses, a crystal hammock and two scratching posts which look like near vertical slides. Keep your kids off the kitty's jungle gym please, parents.
Goop is the work of jade egg enthusiast Gwyneth Paltrow and her annual gift guide is a jewel. She divides it up into helpful categories which include gifts for the one who has everything; gifts under $100, for lovers and for cooks plus ridiculous but awesome gifts.
The ‘ridiculous’ gift list is a work of art and Sleb Safari’s absolute favourite item from this year’s curated extravaganza is a $110,000 modular prefab home which is billed as "the tree house of the future". Tbh it looks amazing – like a huge, scaly periscope – and Sleb Safari wants one NOW.
Other suggestions include a dehydrated caviar bar and a $70,000 holiday that will involve flying by private jet from fancy hotel to even fancier hotel for 16 days. If you are gifted that holiday for Christmas and are looking for someone to re-gift it to, look no further. You can reach Sleb Safari by phone, text, WhatsApp, email, snail mail, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.
In fact, should the thought of re-gifting even cross your mind Sleb Safari is sure it would pick up on the brain waves and immediately track you down.
Back to the gift guide and this time we’re examining presents for cooks. There’s the option to adopt an olive tree for $400 or pick up a $15 zester. Something for everyone, eh?
The gifts under $100 list is a corker too. The choice is vast. You can start with a $25 weather predicting storm guide which is a bit like a barometer but "more fun to look at" and move on to a $49 lip treatment oil.
Best of all there’s a wine and cheese pairing swatchbook at $15. Save yourself the $15 and take Sleb Safari’s advice – pour a glass of wine, lift a hunk of cheese. Eat. Rinse and repeat.
If wine’s your thing you can also splurge on a $100 aerator which you place on top of your bottle, press the button and it pours perfectly aerated wine into your glass. Lol.
Or how about a pair of anti-motion sickness glasses with the tag line "Dorky? Maybe. Useful? Very". They’re $25, so worth a punt if you’re going out on a punt any time soon.
Should you be watching every penny or cent this Christmas rest assured that Gwyneth has thought of you too and recommends a free app.
It’s for social network The Pattern which "helps you better understand yourself and connect with others on a deeper level".
According to the app store you can: "Explore your Personal Pattern to gain insight about various sides of your personality".
"Your Timing offers an overview of what you're going through at this moment in time. These cycles are personal to only you. Understanding these dynamics can help you to navigate the difficult times and take advantage of the positive opportunities that you might otherwise miss."
Yes, positive opportunities such as gifting Sleb Safari that 16-day holiday. Go on, you know you want to.
Competition - Win a bottle of Hinch whiskey
Sleb Safari has a bottle of Hinch Irish whiskey to give away this week.
Hinch's initial Time Collection range concentrates mainly on fine aged Irish whiskey blends as opposed to single malts and ranges in ages up to 10-years-old with plans to launch a 12-year-old in 2020. Casks used to finish the whiskey include virgin oak and Olorosa sherry.
Hinch Distillery is located in Co Down and named after nearby Ballynahinch. Hinch is due to open a new distillery and visitor centre next spring/early summer and it's been designed by Drinksology, the company behind the interior of the Dead Rabbit and Blacktail Bars in New York.
To be in with a chance of winning a bottle of Hinch whiskey answer this question correctly:
Who had a chart hit with Whiskey In The Jar in the 1970s?
Email your answer to email@example.com with 'Sleb Safari/Hinch competition' in the subject line. Please include your address and phone number.
You must be at least 18 years of age to enter this competition. Usual Irish News rules apply. The competition closes at noon on Wednesday November 27.
The winners of a £50 voucher for ladies night at Hillmount garden centre in Bangor are:
Siobhan Brown from Bellaghy
Caroline Rooney from Dromore
I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here
SLEB Safari is glued to I'm A Celebrity after not having watched it for years.
Nadine Coyle and Caitlyn Jenner were the draw but it turns out everyone in camp is endearing. So far.
However, Ian and Nadine should have shared the Wagon Wheels, so it'll be interesting to see how that plays out in camp. Who'll be first for the high jump???
Strictly Come Dancing - why the complaints?
STRICTLY Come Dancing has confirmed that it received complaints from 189 viewers after Johannes Radebe and Graziano Di Prima performed together.
That's 189 complaints too many.
Yes, the dance was significant and long overdue but it was also no more than two dancers dancing together. It was elegant and joyous and shouldn't have caused a ripple.
Here's to a time when it's no longer note worthy.