WHEN Sleb Safari were a lad an advent calendar was made entirely of cardboard and behind each little door there was a Christmas scene. It might have been a picture of a Christmas stocking or a present with a bow on top and on December 25 it was most definitely baby Jesus in the manger craning his neck to see if the three wise men and their gifts were on the horizon.
Fast forward a handful of years; a fistful more; and an armful on top of that and you get to where we are today – a world full of luxury advent calendars.
Sleb Safari isn’t talking about the ones with posh chocolates behind every numbered door, but the calendars with perfume, make-up, skin care, candles and booze and not a hint of hay or lowing cattle.
The most expensive one Sleb Safari spotted was the £405 Dr Barbara Sturm Advent Calendar. Dr Sturm is the lady behind the vampire facial in which she draws some of your blood and re-injects it into the skin. Sleb Safari has no way of knowing whether the £405 calendar comes with a DIY vampire facial kit, short of buying one and opening all 25 doors or windows or whatever they’re called in the luxury advent calendar market. Portal? Vestibule?
It’s a bargain though and Sleb Safari has bought two for everyone it knows, including the postman.
The more spendy among you will be interested to learn that Tiffany and Co has upped the ante with its ultra-luxe luxury advent calendar.
Coming in at a whopping £104,000, this four foot high Tiffany blue locker room is stuffed full of stuff costing between £100 and £13,000. Diamonds and jewellery feature heavily, along with “witty everyday items” which most, surely, mean there’s a whoopie cushion in there somewhere.
Tiffany and Co is taking this advent calendar business way too seriously. Here’s what it says on the website.
“Counting down the days to Christmas? We’ve put together an exclusive, diverse selection of 24 must-have Tiffany designs wrapped in Tiffany Blue and housed in a custom-designed, keepsake replica of our Fifth Avenue flagship store.
“From our most desired jewellery to witty everyday objects, each day holds a new luxurious surprise you’ll only find at Tiffany.”
Contact the Gift Concierge for more information, it adds. The devil on Sleb Safari’s shoulder is suggesting emailing the Gift Concierge with a long winded ramble, asking for suggestions on what to buy family and friends this Christmas.
By the way, that Tiffany’s advent calendar? There are only two for sale in the world. That’s one for Sleb Safari and one for the postman.
Competition Time - Dublin Murders on DVD
SLEB Safari has three copies of Dublin Murders on DVD to give away. The BBC series blended the first two novels in the Dublin Murder Squad series into an eight-part series that concluded last week.
To be in with a chance to win answer the following question correctly:
Who wrote the novels on which Dublin Murders is based?
Email your answer to competitions@ irishnews.com and mark it 'Sleb Safari/Dublin Murders' competition'. Please include your postal address. The competition closes at noon on Wednesday November 13.
Usual Irish News rules apply.
Set in the summer of 2006, Dublin Murders sees two detectives tasked with investigating the murder of a child in Knocknaree, Dublin. The murder scene is an altar in an archaeological site and the victim a 13-year-old girl. Key to the inquiry is establishing whether there's a link to the case of three children who went missing two decades beforehand. Only one of those children came back alive.
High Five Emma Watson
THIS week's tip of the hat goes to Emma Watson for being a self-actualised badass.
Emma – actor and activist – is a single lady and happy to be so after a period of figuring out how or indeed if that defined her. She's even coined a term which is as accurate as it is empowering.
She describes herself as “being self-partnered”. So now you can too. High five Emma Watson.