WHEN the curtain goes up for Flax Trust Arts' production of Oklahoma! at The MAC tonight, only members of the cast will know the painfully real stories behind the smiles and bonhomie of this very special community production of Rodgers and Hammerstein's light-hearted cowboy romance.
That's because many of those out front, singing and dancing like their lives depended on it, have overcome intense personal battles just to be there.
The musical project is the second big production from the cross-community charity whose roots are steeped in reconciliation and peace-building and which today provides a platform for people from north Belfast to carve out new confidence, skills and experiences through the creative arts.
According to Megan Mooney, artistic director with Flax Trust Arts, some of the "most amazing cast" of 70 have never been on the stage before and performing in a group has been a means of reaching life-changing personal goals as well as conquering issues such as low self-esteem, mental ill-health and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
"We organise many confidence-building projects – the first being our now annual inter-school community choir award – but this is only the second musical production and follows on from the success of Oliver! last year," says Megan, a graduate in music from Queen's University Belfast and bursary recipient of the Flax Trust.
"Over 400 people auditioned for Oklahoma! and we have parents and children acting together, with ages ranging from seven up to 77. We have found that many older people have become interested after seeing their children do drama and wanting to explore it for themselves."
One participant whose life has been dramatically turned around after attending his first-ever audition (for Oliver!) last year is 49-year-old husband and father-of-two, David Lindsay.
Now living in Larne, David (49) was brought up in the Ardoyne area of north Belfast, but, due to the Troubles, suffered several traumatic experiences, leading to a delayed diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder five years ago.
This year playing the part of a marshall in Oklahoma!, he credits both musical projects with saving his health and giving him a new sense of self and purpose in life.
"I was born in Ardoyne and I always loved the place until the Troubles led to multiple traumas in my life," he says. "Now, I'm back here, singing and dancing in musicals and the change has been unreal. I couldn't go out of the door of my home until I went for that first audition last year. I was in a very low place and, at that point, had basically given up on life."
His first real trauma happened as a toddler when a 'blast bomb' was thrown over into his back yard by accident. He has had three close friends murdered and he, his wife and family were caught up in the infamous Holy Cross school dispute in Ardoyne – a period he describes as an "absolute nightmare".
In 2001 loyalists picketed the Catholic primary school for girls, claiming their homes were being attacked by Catholics living in the area. Growing protests led to escalating violence and shameful, era-defining images of hatred, of confused, crying children and angry, screaming adults, were beamed around the world.
"The main thing for me was that Holy Cross dispute," says David, who used to work in the building trade before his illness took hold. "My youngest daughter attended the school when we lived in Alliance Avenue, which was on the peace line and right in the middle of all the trouble.
"Our house was constantly attacked for two years solid; we lived an upside down existence and I had to lie on the settee at night. The house was pipe-bombed so often I can't remember and it was set on fire countless times too. We were prisoners in our own home and there no no escape, day or night.
"All those experiences build up in you and eventually affect your confidence and your ability to see a future. They put me into a heavy depression and made me feel that life wasn't worth living at all. I had no hope, no nothing. I had always suffered from PTSD without knowing what it was until I ended up getting help from a trauma team."
David moved out of the area, had "loads of counselling" and says "things were good for a while" until the flashbacks and nightmares returned with a vengeance.
Early last summer, around the time of the audition call for the Oliver! musical, he was back to his worst, feeling overwhelmed by small, everyday things and never wanting to leave his house.
"Even household appliances breaking down and not having any money to do anything about it made things worse," he says. "Then, one day, my sister, who has been involved in drama for years, rang me and asked if I would go for an audition for Oliver! being put on by Flax Trust Arts. My first reaction was, 'No way, my head's away, I could never do anything like that'.
"But, when the conversation was over and I had put down the phone, what she had said stayed with me for a long time afterwards. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I needed to make some kind of positive change in my life or I was going to give up totally; basically, I was going to die. That's they way you feel when PTSD gets you in its grip – you don't want anything, you don't want to do anything, you don't even feel hunger.
"I describe it as like the trunk of a tree: the post traumatic stress is the trunk and then you've got all these branches and roots that come off it – one name, but millions of things that goes on with it."
As the Oklahoma! song goes, it was 'All Er Nothin' and David chose to grasp the opportunity, reasoning he had nothing left to lose.
"What made me get out of the door, I think, was the very fact I was so low," he explains. "I got to the stage that I didn't even care if I made a fool of myself or not. Not only had I never been on stage before, I had never even been to see a play."
Then, a strange thing happened. This complete theatrical novice unearthed a latent talent and got through the audition with flying colours.
"I felt something positive right away; I don't know where it came from," he says. "When I was told I had a part, I threw myself into rehearsals and haven't looked back. In Oklahoma! I play the part of Cord Elam, a marshal, and we're having such a laugh, dressing up as cowboys.
"But, one of the best things has been the development of a new sense of trust – because this is a cross-community group, it has given me so much confidence in the the other side of the community. Nearly all my traumas came from 'the other side', because of the Troubles. There was distrust there and now that has changed. That is the real success story of Flax Trust Arts."
:: Oklahoma! runs at The MAC theatre in Belfast until Saturday. Tickets at themaclive.com
