IT’S that time of the year again when the children are back to school, the nights are turning darker and cooler, and the memories of the hot summer become a little more distant.
Some people seem to enjoy the return to a more regular routine and structure; for others, the thought of a long winter draws into focus; and for the many of us, perhaps it’s a combination of both of these.
As a psychologist, this is a one of the busiest times for new referrals. For children, there is the annual problem of younger people who do not want to go back to or change school, and the long and busy year ahead for those preparing for important exams.
For some families, a turbulent summer may bring around decisions of parents staying together or separating, a difficult holiday experience perhaps bringing things to a head. For people caring for older loved ones, the colder weather ahead brings its own challenges, and the fear of becoming ill and needing hospital care during the busiest medical season.
And for some of us, the thought of another winter can be too much to face, especially if you have had a difficult year to date.
What we all need at this time of year is a little extra sustenance and nurturance, to help replace the lightness and warmth of the summer. This is all down to your own individual taste; some people they throw themselves into the autumn and winter sporting programme, and the return of the football and rugby seasons, for example.
For others, it might be making an extra effort to visit a gym, read a book or settle in front the TV or laptop for the return of your favourite series.
For me, alongside sport and reading, it's hard to beat some good music to help get through the months ahead.
I was fortunate recently to go along to a show by the acclaimed Co Down band The 4 of Us, playing an intimate acoustic set. Brendan and Declan Murphy were superb on the night, blending older and more recent songs in a stunning performance, laced with self-deprecating humour and banter.
The show ended with the audience singing back the chorus of their inimitable breakthrough hit Mary, and I remembered how good singing is for us, bringing that almost instant feel-good factor that my more vocally talented friends and relatives talk about.
The evening was all the more immediate as the Murphy brothers played a number of tracks from their latest album, which reflects on their growing up in Newry in the late 1960s and 1970s, when life was very different to what it is nowadays.
A particular stand-out song for me was Going South, reminiscing about the infamous checkpoint heading out of Newry, and the experience of being stuck in a seemingly endless line of vehicles, in the days before children did not need seatbelts and parents could smoke.
Music is good for the soul, helps us feel connected, and can give voice to deeper feelings, as there are few things in life that someone has not written a song about.
In my work, a person discussing their favourite music has often helped me better understand them, and music provides great solace to people in distress and at difficult times.
As we face the darker and cooler months ahead, it might do you good to listen to something old and familiar, or indeed something new and different. And you could do a lot worse than checking out Sugar Island by The 4 of Us.
:: Dr Paul Gaffney is a senior clinical psychologist. His latest book, The Family Game: What Sport And Psychology Can Teach Us About Parenting, is available now.
