Sleb Safari: Kate Moss spills her beauty secrets

Kate Moss played a party loving model in Absolutely Fabulous the movie

PICTURE this if you can; Kate Moss sprawled on the sofa, watching Blue Planet II with a face mask on and sipping kale smoothie through a straw.

It doesn’t sound likely and yet Kate is adamant that this is how she spends her evenings now, once she’s got her gym class out of the way and cooked something healthy for tea.

Some people find God. Kate Moss has found health or moderation or cod or something.

She’s been chatting to The Guardian about her ‘beauty secrets’ and – spoiler alert – she doesn’t rub at stubborn mascara with a wet finger or eat an M&S dine in for two meal on her own.

With those key facts to hand, let us turn our attention to her health and beauty regime in the hope of learning something transformative.

Kate sets out her stall early. “I’ve been to bed in my make-up on occasions but I wouldn’t make a habit of it, not now. You can always tell the next day. It’s not a good look.”

Ouch. Sleb Safari did exactly that last week after getting its face done by a make-up artist who came to the table armed with industrial strength products and, Kate’s right, absolutely everyone could tell the next day which thrilled Sleb Safari no end. Why waste fabulous make-up when you’ve a second function to go to in 24 hours???

Sleb Safari did eventually remove it with an angle grinder and, honestly, was sad to say goodbye to the false eyelashes.

Kate is less daring and chooses to take hers off with cleanser, followed by an application of serum and moisturiser. Sometimes, Kate tells The Guardian, she’ll “do those gorgeous sheet masks while watching telly”.

Do you think when Kate puts a sheet face mask on she looks as though she’s stretched a wet piece of kitchen roll across her face or does she still look ready for a magazine cover? Sleb Safari is going with the latter.

Kate also enjoys “proper food” because that too helps her skin.

“I… try to eat more healthily than I used to. I think as you get older you have to. When I was young I was so low maintenance I didn’t have to worry. Not what I ate, not about anything really. My skin looks better when I eat well, too.

“Obviously if you eat all that grease, skin just doesn’t look as healthy. I’ve really noticed an improvement since I’ve been more ‘on it’ with food – like eating salads and all that stuff – I never used to really eat salads. And now I’m like, juicing!”

Wow, you know you need to take action when even Kate Moss is cleaning up her act and her face and eating salad. That being said, Kate – if you ever need a number for a brilliant make-up artist Sleb Safari won't see you stuck.


Get well soon Mariah Carey

SLEB Safari greets you today with a smile turned upside down because its idol, Mariah Carey, is ill.

The elusive chanteuse had a flu which has morphed into a respiratory infection and under doctor’s orders she’s cancelled the first of her festive concerts.

No-one festivates quite like Mariah so this will have hit her hard. Sleb Safari is worried sick about her and about her voice since It’s nearly time for Mimi to start singing All I Want For Christmas on repeat.

Mariah broke the news on Twitter.

“Lambs! Just in time for the holiday gift-giving season, it seems I’ve received a present of my own; a lovely upper respiratory infection after last week’s flu. Bleak!

“You know there is nothing I love more than celebrating the holidays with my festive Christmas show, but I have to take my doctor’s orders and rest until he says I can sing on stage.

“Until then, unfortunately I have to cancel the first several shows of my upcoming Christmas tour. I’m going to do all that I can so that I can see you soon!”

Mariah, stay strong, Christmas will wait for you.


High Five Sia

This week the Sassy Lady Award goes to Sia who on finding out that someone was trying to sell nude pictures of her went ahead and posted one on social media herself.

She captioned it: “Someone is apparently trying to sell naked photos of me to my fans. Save your money, here it is for free. Everyday is Christmas!”

It's been retweeted 193,000 times and 632,000 people have favourited the tweet.

High five Sia. You lead by example and Sleb Safari doffs its hat to you.


Social Media Smut

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