Help, I'm drowning under a sea of ever-increasing paperwork and I need some assistance.
I don't know how it started but suddenly I'm sat staring at this mountain of paperwork and all I want to do is hide behind the sofa (with chocolate) until it's all sorted.
It all started with the `P' word.
Most people dread having to experience the passport renewal process but sometimes, it just has to be done.
When I got married in April 2014, there was two years left on my Irish passport so I didn't bother applying for a new one in my married name - I just decided to wait until the renewal came up.
As a result, both our passports sat in a drawer and both expired in April 2016.
But, a few weeks ago, Darren brought up the subject of renewing the passports which confused me because again, we have no plans to travel anywhere.
However, he said it was for a surprise and asked me to renew my passport.
Of course, while I was intrigued by the surprise, the thought of renewing my passport just filled me with dread.
However, a few days later, I read about the wonderful new online renewal service and so, we sat down one Saturday afternoon to get it all sorted.
We started with Darren's and I could not believe how simple it was.
Just input some details, attach some photos - which are automatically checked and cleared - and pay. Honestly, it could not have been easier. (And he received it just 11 days later).
Anyway, when it came to my turn, it was not available to me because I was doing a name change.
Cue expletives and my hunt for the required paperwork.
After sending Darren to get into the attic, the elusive birth and marriage certificates were eventually found. (I always think I put them away safe but I am convinced they then grow feet, up roots and move, just to toy with me).
But then came the dreaded photo stage.
Why is this part so difficult? The size, the expression, the hair, it would put your head away.
After actually finding the time to get them taken (when you actually have make-up on and your hair is washed and not full of food, colourful clips and stickers), you then have to find someone to sign and stamp them.
Let me tell you, it's time-consuming. In the end, my wonderful neighbour, who is a solicitor, came up trumps.
So then, you walk around to the big post office in Belfast city centre and take a number and wait and wait and wait and then you are called, and of course, they question the size of your photos (veins are going to start popping in my head).
Finally, they were measured and were in fact, ok but then the point out that I have written my reference number on the back of all four and "two of the photos have to be clear".
(Deep breaths. Count to 10. Go outside, don't make a show of yourself).
So, off I went, still holding my passport form.
Thankfully I realised I had in fact been given six to start with and had two spare so the next day, off I went back to the post office and went through the whole process again.
I even paid an additional 11 EURO for the express service only to then be told it would take at least four weeks.
(Deep breaths. Count to 10. Go outside, don't get arrested for hurdling over the counter and causing havoc).
But then, when I got home that day with the plan to chill, I found myself confronted with all the paperwork for my new wheels.
Goodness above, why is there so much and why is it so complicated?
Old log book, new log book, yellow slip, green slip, new cover note, old insurance certificate, new certificate, scrap man, tax and so on and so on and so on.
I'm exhausted and still being strangled by red tape.
Why do the powers that be make life so difficult?
I think I need an assistant - any volunteers?
Competition
If you’re in search of brighter skin for summer, how about a boost thanks to Korres, a Greek skincare brand with roots in Athens’ first ever Homeopathic Pharmacy?
The gorgeous brand is celebrating its 20th anniversary with the launch of the Wild Rose Advanced Brightening and Nourishing Face oil.
Infused with real rose petals, the Greek skincare brand has reinvented its first apothecary beauty elixir – the Wild Rose Oil - to honor its original precious extract.
This new Face Oil for Brightening and Deep Nourishing, is boosted with SUPER C which increases skin’s Vitamin C absorption and maximises the brightening effect.
The new Wild Rose Oil acts on 3 levels - Brightening/Nourishing/Antioxidant - combining the beneficial properties of the main brightening factors with natural actives which focus on hydration, deep nourishing and skin protection.
Amongst them, the nutritious Apricot and Sunflower oils, the moisturising-booster provitamin B5 and the antioxidant Physalis Angulata extract.
KORRES Wild Rose Advanced Brightening & Nourishing Face Oil 30ml is £30 and available now from Marks and Spencer.
I have three KORRES Wild Rose Advanced Brightening & Nourishing Face Oils to give away to three lucky readers.
If you fancy winning, simply email your name, address and telephone number – along with the answer to the question below – to
competitions@irishnews.com
(Q) What nationality is the KORRES skincare brand?
Closing date for entries is Tuesday, May 30, 2017
(Q) Normal Irish News Rules Apply
What's Hot?
Spring - The popular Spring Continental Market is back at Belfast City Hall this weekend with a delicious mix of food from across the globe as well as a mouth-watering selection of bespoke local products. Running until May 29, why not pay it a visit?
Return - US sitcom Roseanne, which starred Roseanne Barr and John Goodman, is set to be revived with many of the original cast members.The show will return for an eight-episode revival in 2018.
Sunshine - Take a step back in time at the cinema this weekend as Baywatch, the movie arrives at the flicks, Starring Kelly Rohrbach, Dwayne Johnson and Pamela Anderson, there is sure to be lots of sand and sun on offer.
So Not!
Remake - Sylvester Stallone has sent good luck wishes to the team behind a Bollywood-style remake of Rambo. Apparently, the revamp will not involve any of the singing and dancing usually associated with Bollywood. I'm not sure about this.
Loss - Fans have been left saddened by the news that former James Bond star, Sir Roger Moore has died. The 89-year-old passed away in Switzerland this week after a short battle with cancer. Sad news.
Again - Yet another movie in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise arrives at cinemas this weekend. Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge once again stars Johnny Depp as the awful Captain Jack Sparrow character. Really detest these movies. Hope this is the last.
Competition
The winners of the Elemis competition are Patricia O'Hare, from Newry, Goretti Mellon, from Moy, and Claire Shields, from Mountnorris, Co Armagh
Easy Peasy Recipe
This week’s Easy Peasy Recipe is Black Bush and Beetroot Cured Salmon, courtesy of Kevin Pyke of Pyke `N’ Pommes eatery on the Foyle Marina in Derry. Kevin collaborated with Bushmills Irish Whiskey as part of the brand’s #AnswerTheCall event series.
You will need:
25g caster sugar
25g fine salt
2 tbsp beetroot powder
1 vanilla pod, seeds scraped out
2 tbsp Bushmills Black Bush
1 x 500g/ side of salmon, skin on, pin bones removed
To Make:
In a large bow, mix the sugar, salt, vanilla pod, beetroot powder and Black Bush together.
Sprinkle some of the mixture on a baking tray and lay the salmon on top, skin down.
Cover the salmon with the remaining mixture and cover with cling film
Place in the fridge for 4-6 hours, or overnight.
Remove from film and oven cook at 180c for 15 minutes approx.
To serve, slice the salmon into thin strips and garnish with pickled vegetables and cress.
Do you have an Easy Peasy recipe you would like to share?
Are you the queen of quiches, magnificent at muffins or can you turn out some nice scones?
If so, then we want to hear from you. You can send your name, address, contact number and recipe (plus photo if possible) to:
Easy Peasy Recipes,
Marie Louise McConville,
Irish News
113-117 Donegall Street,
Belfast,
BT1 2GE
or
m.mcconville@irishnews.com
