Life

Ask The Expert: Selfie-obsession usually part of normal search for identity

Just because your daughter is taking her own picture, it doesn't mean she's becoming narcissistic
Just because your daughter is taking her own picture, it doesn't mean she's becoming narcissistic Just because your daughter is taking her own picture, it doesn't mean she's becoming narcissistic

Q: "My 14-year-old daughter has become obsessed with taking 'selfies' – what should I do?"

A: Sarah Newton, a youth mentor and author (theyouthexpert.com), says: "It depends what you mean by obsessed – what most parents see as obsession is just self-expression for your daughter, a creative search for identity, a way she can play with her image, manipulate it and discover the person she wants to be.

"In most cases, this is completely harmless. If she was taking pictures of landscapes and playing with filters you wouldn't have cause for concern – just because it's her own picture, it doesn't mean she's becoming narcissistic.

"The challenge with selfies isn't in the taking of them, but when girls are posting them for validation on who they are and how they look from the outside world, ie wanting 'likes' on social media. Talk to her about your fears, and ask her what she gets out of taking them – and if you're still concerned, tell her.

"Make sure that every day you tell her one thing you admire about her beyond her looks.

"Most girls grow out of this phase when they reach 18 or 19 years old and settle into far more 'normal' picture-taking behaviours.

"See it as creative expression and identity search and you may be able to stop worrying so much."