Q: "My kids have drawn up huge Christmas lists, but I can't afford most of what's on them. What's the best way to deal with the guilt I feel about it?"
A: Jeremy Todd, chief executive of the parenting charity Family Lives, says: "Stand firm and don't give in to pester power.
"The latest gadgets, designer clothes and toys can overstretch the family budget and many might feel under pressure to meet their children's demands. Admittedly it can feel good to spoil loved ones with expensive gifts, and on special occasions it can be hard to say no. But cost is a consideration for most parents, and so is keeping limitations on how much you treat your children.
"We receive many calls from families during the festive period, some of whom feel guilty or are stressed at not being able to afford everything a child wants. But families shouldn't feel guilty for not having a bottomless purse. If children are hoping for costly presents, you can say no or negotiate for something more realistic and try to show your child you understand how they feel.
"Children can face real peer pressure to have the latest items. If it really means a lot to them, you may be able to reach a compromise with older children by sharing the cost with them through chores, or with other relatives.
"Also, agree tactics in advance with other family members so you don't undermine each other.
"Remember all the things you give your children throughout the year and don't beat yourself up about not lining the pockets of multinational corporations. The most important gift you can give your children this Christmas is time and conversation."
For more information on dealing with pester power, call Family Lives' free helpline on 0808 800 2222, or visit familylives.org.uk. The helpline is threatened with closure, to help keep it open text CHAT25 to 70070 to make a £1 or more donation
