GO mBEANNAÍ DIA daoibh hello to Sinophiles, Rusophiles and USA-ofiles, you’re more than welcome to the Bluffer’s Guide to Irish.

However, by the time you read this, we might all be dead! 

Tá coimhlint ar siúl - there is a conflict going on between An Rúis - Russia, an Úcráin - the Ukraine and Stáit Aontaithe Mheiriceá - the United States of America which might end up being the mother of all wars.

Tá an Tríú Coghadh Domhanda ar an bhealach - the Third World War is on its way, the pessimists will tell you while the optimists will say that bainfidh an taidhleoireacht - diplomacy will win.

But it has got the Bluffer thinking about what WWIII would look like.

Thankfully, the major industrialised countries haven’t been at war with each other since the end of the Second World War but the next major war will be different to everything before it.

The Bluffer, being a síochánaí - a pacifist or if you prefer, a cladhaire - a coward, wouldn’t have been much of an asset if he were engaged in the Battle of Thermopylae or Cath na Bóinne - the Battle of the Boyne.

(Cath is a battle and cogadh is a war).

The thought of sticking a sword into another human being’s neck isn’t something the Bluffer would be keen on.

Ní thig leis an sceimhle a shamhlú - he can’t imagine the terror as thousands of men pound their shields and let out visceral primal screams as they rush towards each other to kill or to die or to end up horrifically mutilated.

Neither would being hit by a caor ordanáis - a cannonball be his chosen way of dying. 

He shudders at the thought of an sléacht - the slaughter and an bharbarthacht - the barbarity of the First World War, when “the suffering, the sorrow, the glory, the shame/the killing and dying, it was all done in vain,” as Eric Bogle wrote.

We’ve had buamaí núicléacha - nuclear bombs since then but  warfare has changed dramatically since the days of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

I heard is said that a nuclear war in 1980 would have caused a million casualties but now there would be over 300 million dead and injured but the next world war will be based more on technology than on ordnance.

It could involve attacks by thousands of unmanned ladrainn - drones and we’ve seen the carnage they can cause to innocent civilians.

They would be augmented by cibirionsaithe - cyber attacks on, for example, the power grid which allows attackers to disable the systems that

countries need to function.

With almost all modern economic activity operating via computers, an enemy nation could attack the computer networks of, for example, stock markets, payment systems and banks, stealing money, blocking people from accessing their funds.

There will be Artificial Intelligence battle management systems and autonomous robots but fewer troops on the ground so there will be no more Sommes or Gallipolis.

CÚPLA FOCAL

Tá coimhlint ar siúl (taa kivlintch er shooil) - there is a conflict going on

An Rúis (un roosh) - Russia

an Úcráin (un oocraan) - the Ukraine

Stáit Aontaithe Mheiriceá (staatch aynteeha verica) - the United States of America 

Tá an Tríú Coghadh Domhanda ar an bhealach (taa un chreeoo cugoo dowanda er un valakh) - the Third World War is on its way

bainfidh an taidhleoireacht (bwinhee un tileyoreakht) - diplomacy will win

síochánaí (sheeakhanee) - a pacifist cladhaire (clyra) - a coward 

Cath na Bóinne (cah ne boenya) - the Battle of the Boyne

caor ordanáis (keer ordanaash) - a cannonball

Ní thig leis an sceimhle a shamhlú (nee hig lesh un shkayvla a haowal) - he can’t imagine the terror 

an sléacht (un shlaykht) - the slaughter

an bharbarthacht (un warbarhakht) - the barbarity

buamaí núicléacha (booamee nuclayakha) - nuclear bombs

ladrainn (ladranh) - drones

cibirionsaithe (keeberunseeha) - cyber attacks