Irish language

Questions that don't need to be asked in healthy relationships

DIAMOND GEEZERS: Presenter Derek Batey with celebrity Mr and Mrs, Barbara Windsor and Ronnie Knight, in a scene from the Border Television series that encouraged martial fidelity
Robert McMillen

A BIG HELLO to the deep thinkers and to the devil-may-care, your all welcome to the Guide to Irish.

The say that questions can help deepen any relationship, but there are some you probably shouldn’t ask.

A thaisce - darling, cad chuige a bhfuil culaith Naitsíoch sa chófra? - why is there a Nazi uniform in the wardrobe or ar mhaith leat dul a champáil? - do you fancy going camping? 

However if you are in a healthy relationship there are questions you won’t need to ask such as cad é an béile is fearr leat? - which is your favourite meal? You should know already whether it is bricfeasta - breakfast, lón - lunch, or dinnéar - dinner.

If you’ve been dating for a while, you won’t have to ask cad é an t-amhrán is mó a mheallann tú chuig an urlár damhsa? - What song always gets you out on the dance floor?

For the Bluffer it has to be Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson or indeed anything by Bruno Mars.

But then it could be a 3-part jig that gets you up for the Waves of Tory or The Blue Danube if you like a good waltz. 

A good relationship is knowing what calms your partner at the end of the day, after a hard day’s slog when the boss is throwing a wobbler because his favourite football team has lost again or the coffee machine hasn’t put the cinnamon into his capuccino.    

For the Bluffer, suaimhníonn tae fíogadáin mé - camomile tea calms me as does watching documentaries on television, a foot massage, counting money, listening to country ballads and in difficult times, just staring at a wall.

So what else should a partner know about their better halves?

They should never have to ask an ólann tú siúcra - do you take sugar or cad é an dath is fearr leat? - What is your favourite colour?

You should never have to ask if he or she wants to go to see a scannán uafáis - a horror film if the significant other is into scannáin ghrinn rómánsúla - romantic comedies.

Of course all of these will seem fairly innocuous questions but the mind goes back to the ITV programme Mr and Mrs when married couples of all ages were asked three multiple-choice questions about the everyday habits of their nearest and dearest.

(It is not advised to try this at home!)

The contestants got £10 for each right answer AND a carriage clock!

There are of course very serious questions that people have to answer honestly early in a relationship.

Ar mhaith leat páistí? a bheith agat? - Do you want to have children?

Or loads of other questions from do you want to live abroad or in a different city? to What do we do if one of us loses our job?
Questions, questions, questions. They come at us every day from should I get up? to is it time for bed?

As the Bluffer’s old mate, Voltaire, once said: “Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”

It is a great skill being able to ask the right question to help people open up, whether it is a loved one or a politician, we all need to be asked the right questions.

Isn’t that right?  

CÚPLA FOCAL

a thaisce (a hashke) - darling 

cad chuige a bhfuil culaith Naitsíoch sa chófra? (ca tee a wil culee natseeokh sa khofra) - why is there a Nazi uniform in the wardrobe

ar mhaith leat dul a champáil? (er why lat gul a khampaal) - do you fancy going camping? 

cad é an béile is fearr leat? (cadge ay un bayla is farr lat) - which is your favourite meal? 

bricfeasta (brikfasta) - breakfast; lón (lone) - lunch; dinnéar (jinyayr) - dinner

cad é an t-amhrán is mó a mheallann tú chuig an urlár damhsa? (cadge ay un toraan is mo a valan too hig un urlaar daowsa) - What song always gets you out on the dance floor?

Suaimhníonn tae fíogadáin mé (sooavnyeean tae feeogadaan may) - camomile tea calms me

an ólann tú siúcra (un awlan too shoocra) - do you take sugar 

cad é an dath is fearr leat? (cadge ay un dah is farr lat) - What is your favourite colour?

scannán uafáis (scannan ooafaash) - a horror film 

scannáin ghrinn rómánsúla (scanaan yrin romansoola) - romantic comedies

Ar mhaith leat páistí a bheith agat? (er why lat paashtee a vay ugut) - Do you want to have children?

 

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