Go mbeannaí Dia daoibh agus bhur gcéad míle fáilte isteach chuig the Bluffer’s Guide to Irish.
It’s Dé Sathairn - Saturday and the Bluffer and two mates are on the bus on their way to Páirc an Chrócaigh - Croke Park for two enticing football games.
They are wearing geansaithe GAA - GAA jersies, ag caint i nGaeilge - speaking in Irish, reading the Irish News and talking about an pheil Ghaelach - Gaelic football. Let’s face it, it doesn’t get any Irisher than that!
Cumann Lúthchleas Gael - the GAA is a wondrous organisation with lots of warts but with an intrinsic beauty that lifts the heart on days like Saturday.
The GAA is responsible for the aforementioned Gaelic football, iománaíocht - hurling, camógaíocht - camogie and liathróid láimhe - handball and they are becoming much more popular amongst women with the standard in Peil na mBan - ladies’ football going through the roof in the past number of years.
On Saturday, the Bluffer and co were amongst the 82,000 people in Croker in an atmosphere that would put the Old Firm or el Clasico to shame - and this was just a quarter final?
Cluiche ceathrú ceannais is a quarter-final, cluiche leathcheannais - a semi-final and cluiche ceannais is a final.)
The Bluffer got into the swing of things with a couple of “how’s she cuttin’s?” to the visiting Ulstermen as he made his way along Jones Road to Ardán Uí Ógáin - the Hogan stand for the high-powered drama - which sadly turned out to be a bit of a damp squib.
The difference in quality between the top teams, Kerry, Dublin compared to the leading pretenders - Monaghan, Mayo, Armagh et al is enormous.
Cúlaithe Thír Eoghain - the Tyrone backs (cosantóirí is the word for defenders) were phenomenal and it will be fascinating to see how tosaithe Bhaile Átha Cliath - Dublin forwards break them down in the semi-final but the O’Neill country men will put up a better show than Monaghan one would wager.
In the good old days there would be two physical giants i lár na páirce - in midfield but nowadays the area is a mixture of pass the parcel and the Waves of Tory as everybody gets the chance to blithely hand pass to each other while running round in ever decreasing circles.
Still, when two teams decide to go for it, Gaelic football can be one of the most exciting games around.
The aclaíocht - fitness of amateur sportsmen is quite staggering; the neart - strength that is displayed when you see two players thunder into each other in shoulder to shoulder tackles would leave £200 million soccer players in intensive care.
The teamwork that would put Swiss horology to shame and all these can add up to a wonderful spectacle.
And that is before we talk about the fans.
82,000 people turned up to Croke Park to support the three Ulster counties as well as the huge home support on Cnoc 16 - Hill 16.
There is nothing like Croker on a big match day, with the noise, the colour, the spectacle and the choc ices.
CÚPLA FOCAL
Dé Sathairn (je sahern) - Saturday
Páirc an Chrócaigh(paark un khroekee) - Croke Park
geansaithe GAA (gyanaahee GAA) - GAA jerseys
ag caint i nGaeilge(eg kyntch i ngaylick) - speaking in Irish
an pheil Ghaelach(un fell gaylick) - Gaelic football
Cumann Lúthchleas Gael(cuman looclass gayl) - the GAA
iománaíocht(umaaneeakht) - hurling
camógaíocht(camogeeakht) - camogie
liathróid láimhe(liahroyde liyva) - handball
Peil na mBan(pel na man) - ladies’ football
Cluiche ceathrú ceannais(cleeha kehroo kyaneesh) - a quarter-final
cluiche leathcheannais(cleeha leh-kyaneesh) - a semi-final cluiche ceannais(cleeha kyaneesh) - a final
Ardán Uí Ógáin(ardaan ee ogaan) - the Hogan stand
Cúlaithe Thír Eoghain(cooleeha heer owen) - the Tyrone backs
cosantóirí(cussantoree) - defenders
tosaithe Bhaile Átha Cliath(tussahee wala cleea) - Dublin forwards
i lár na páirce(i laar ne parka) - in midfield
aclaíocht(acleeakht) - fitness
neart(nyart) - strength
Cnoc a 16 (cruck a shay jayg) - Hill 16.