The Monster
WITH Halloween lurking moodily in the shadows chances are you might be looking for a little vintage late night horror to spice up your seasonal movie menu this weekend. If that's the case could I be so bold as to advise you give The Monster, out now on Network Blu-ray, a go?
Director Peter Sasdy's 1975 shocker – released under a plethora of alternate titles including I Don't Want To Be Born, The Devil Within Her and, perhaps most unpleasantly, It's Growing Inside Her – is a shameless Rosemary's Baby rip off, but serious fun all the same.
Joan Collins is Lucy, an exotic dancer who spurns the romantic attentions of a dancing dwarf called Hercules, played by George Claydon. Hell-bent on revenge, Hercules immediately curses her with the promise that her first-born will be "as big as I am small and possessed by the devil himself".
So far, so sleazy – and when we next meet Lucy, now married to a rich businessman called Gino (played by Ralph Bates with an Italian accent that wanders over most of Europe), she is indeed the mother of a large baby with a penchant for clawing at flesh, trashing his crib and taking on the face of evil old Hercules.
A typically downbeat Donald Pleasence is there as the family doctor who tries to reassure them that it's just growing pains, but before long Gino's sister Albana (Eileen Atkins) is called in from an Italian religious order to administer a much needed exorcism. The way she pronounces "Day-vil" is worth the price of admission on its own.
There's little actual horror and the effects are risible, but the London setting is alluring, Sasdy's direction admirably straight-faced and Doctor Who tunesmith Ron Grainer's score is seriously groovy, even if it does feel like it's been dropped in from a completely different movie at times.
Best of all though is the hilariously aloof Collins, a woman whose career path had somehow led her from Rank starlet to low-rent horror lead by the early 70s. She has never been more detached or wooden than she is here.
Collins would go on to blank out such cinematic sleaze when she slipped on those career defining shoulder pads in Dynasty, but for me, she'll always be a British horror scream queen, whether she likes it or not. Watching her flounce her way through material she clearly thinks below her is always hugely entertaining.
Network's release brings the film back to our screens in a vibrant print such B-movie balderdash probably doesn't really deserve, and there are some neat extras on offer including a chat with wardrobe assistant Brenda Dabbs that reveals the budget was so poor that old Joanie had to be convinced to wear her own clothes on screen. She did insist on getting some new boots and a handbag to sweeten the deal, however.
All things considered, The Monster is a ridiculous and pretty tasteless exercise in straight ahead exploitation. However, as cheesy Halloween fun fests on the old 'so bad it's good' front go, it's still pretty hard to beat.
