Star Wars: Battlefront (Multi)
By: EA
THE Force Awakens had better be the greatest cinematic experience since colour was invented – I mean, what kid didn't see Star Wars and hope one day they'd get a sequel with their favorite characters as senior citizens?
But if Disney's fleapit offering disappoints, gamers can at least turn to the small screen with Battlefront.
I'll take it anyone reading had at least one Star Wars figure in their youth, otherwise this'll be an uphill struggle. Battlefront trumps even those card-mounted Kenners (still airtightly sealed by overzealous mentalists) for pure role-playing wish-fulfillment.
Another first-person shooter for the Call of Duty set, its epic multiplayer warfare takes place in one of the most beloved nerd franchises of all time as the Rebel Alliance dukes it out with the Empire.
Sharply focused on Lucas's original trilogy, playable characters include Luke, Darth and Boba Fett with iconic intergalactic acreage from Endor to Hoth. What a time to be alive!
But my fine Salacious Crumb cackle turned to a deep Darthy "NOOOO!" on realising Battlefront is a strictly multiplayer affair. Granted, there are a few solo sops, but this Stormtrooper's a little short to be considered a lonesome purchase, with a mere handful of training missions and bot battles providing offline thrills.
The focus is firmly on massive online battles as rebel scum take on the Empire's finest. The core experience is a pair of modes called Supremacy and Walker Assault, where huge groups meet on large maps, blasting on terra firma, manning turrets and occasionally jumping into a variety of vehicles.
It's wildly accessible thrillage, with the best toys randomly scattered around the battlefield rather than locked away for the elite. And you won't find a finer rendering of scum and villainy in the known universe.
With sound effects, vehicle designs and a score faithfully captured in forensic detail, it's like freebasing nostalgia.
Sadly, this rabid fanboyism doesn't stretch to the voice cast, and with the exception of Anthony Daniels, most are poor soundalikes. Emperor Palpatine comes off like Mr Bean while Darth Vader sounds like a disgruntled middle-manager shouting into a fishbowl.
EA has predictably secreted extra doo-dads away, like Death Star plans in a droid, ready to be unlocked for those who splash the cash. In fact, the game launches with less initial maps than Wii U joy Splatoon, and unlike Nintendo's squid blaster, the extra stuff will cost ye.
Like a show home, Battlefront is beautiful to look at but inside it's rather empty. While capturing my childhood in a bottle, beneath the familiarity of its characters, vehicles and belching blaster effects lies a barebones shooter that's so old-school to qualify as quaint and which will soon be force-choking your wallet to unlock further content.
Fans, though, will hardly mind because, well... Star Wars!
