Wouldn't fancy Leicester boss Michael Appleton getting cheesed off with me
Straight in at number one in the chart of Premier League managers you’d put the house on in a no-holds-barred dust up is Leicester City’s tattooed caretaker boss, and definitely not a sibling to those girls out of All Saints, Michael Appleton.
The muscle-bound former Manchester United hopeful sails into the top spot due to his nightclub bouncer physique and furrowed brow of aggressive indifference.
It’s not a very competitive chart, to be fair, as half of the head honchos in the Premier League can be ruled out on the grounds of age, especially since Roy the Boy (70) sauntered back into the Palace, or continental suaveness.
True, Sean Dyche and Mark Hughes might still have a bit about them, but Dyche sounds like his pre-fight routine would involve glugging down a pint of gravel and Hughes has a fetishistic obsession with handshakes.
I'd give Tony Pulis an each-way shout, particularly after hearing the story of him sticking the nut on James Beattie while wearing his birthday suit.
But, again, time isn't on big TP's side.
Pep and Klopp would try and bear hug you into submission while trying to talk you out of the whole barney altogether, in a let's-all-get-along kind of way.
We all know that Jose would probably fight dirty and Antonio Conte definitely ‘knows a few guys who know a few guys’ but Appleton, should he stick around in the Foxes’ hot seat, definitely has the title wrapped up for the season.
But his apparent unhappiness at the way in which the guy who brought him to club was treated has been evident this week and he revealed the players aren’t too chuffed either.
Appleton says he left a pretty comfortable position in Oxford to rock up at the King Power – think Morse with all the real ale and vintage Jag but none of the murders.
He also said the players are angry too, “cheesed off” claimed Appleton, oh, does that make them Red Leicester then Michael?
Well, I have to believe him and at the same time not complain about the quality of a soft French cheese, I mean who am I to dis a Brie?
Leicester fans should think very Caerphilly about who they want to succeed Shakespeare.
Word is they're looking for another Italian, Robert Mancini or Gianfranco GorgonZola perhaps?
Or would a former dreadlocked French World Cup winner fancy a foray into management? What is Christian Camembert up to these days anyway?
Anyway, it's clear Appleton is pretty feta up with the whole situation and he'll surely go emmental if they can't turn things around and concentrate on today's clash with Swansea.
It'll be up to him to try and pickle his way through the aftermath left by Shakespeare's departure and if his players are still a bit cheesed off today, then who better to lead the line than Kelechi Iheanacho?
One thing's for sure, Gary Lineker will be an interested spectator as he munches away on his favourite flavour of crisps - Cheesed off and onion (send the cheque to me Walkers)