Dodgy Tackle: Ronald Koeman sets sights on tree points
SANTA Claus, Old Saint Nick, Father Christmas, Pere Noel... whatever you call the big man there's one thing you can't argue with – he's a red.
Now, that may have come about thanks to a certain fizzy drinks company about 100 years ago, but the perennial chimney botherer has a certain agreed-on appearance.
Red and white jacket and trousers, black boots (gloves optional). His football allegiance isn't known, but given that he hails from off the top of Norway or somewhere colder, it's fair to say it's either Manchester United or Liverpool (or perhaps Cliftonville, if he's ever parked the reindeer up at a chilly Solitude and watched 'Skin' Lyttle's men ply their trade).
Anyway, the colour of his garb has seeped into other aspects of Christmas decoration so you'd think that it's perfectly acceptable to decorate a Christmas tree in predominantly red colours.
Well, not unless you're the manager of Everton Football Club. Ronald Koeman hasn't exactly endeared himself to the Toffees' faithful in the last few months. First (no doubt channeling Rafa Benitez), he suggested that star striker Romelu Lukaku needed to move to a bigger club and then gushed about the football cross-town rivals Liverpool were playing.
And the affable Dutchman and David Platt grabber got himself into more hot water with the Blues' fans this week by having the temerity to deck his tree out with loads of red.
No doubt proud of his work, he posted a picture on Twitter, but the Goodison gang were not amused. Responses on the social media platform included: "Red Christmas Tree! Noooooooo! Ronald, it needs to be BLUE! Happy Christmas." and "red Ronald really????? Dissapointed".
Whatever next? A Christmas card with a robin RED breast on it? A Santa pitching up to greet the kids at Goodison dressed all in RED?
Not wanting to risk any more ire from the club's fans, Ronald decided that a bit of redecorating was in order and posting a picture later on of the tree decked mostly in white (for peace probably).
Better colour? pic.twitter.com/oiIeJry2aB— Ronald Koeman (@RonaldKoeman) 1 December 2016
Everton fans should be more worried about the fact that the star at the top of Ronnie's tree contained more points than the Toffees have managed in their last handful of games.
The next day, no doubt in more reflective mood, Koeman tweeted that there were more important things than the colour of Christmas tree – yes, Ron, Everton fans want to know what colour that stocking you're hanging on the fireplace is.
I Think there are more serious problems in the world, than making a big story out of a #ChristmasTree !!!— Ronald Koeman (@RonaldKoeman) 1 December 2016