JUDGING by his demeanour as a player, a move into punditry wasn’t the most natural path for Paul Scholes.
However, for one who was once labelled the quiet man of football, he isn’t shy of an opinion or two as a pundit. A player with a deft touch, a keen eye for a pass and thumping finish, Scholes’ punditry is much more no-nonsense.
Gary Lineker – anchoring BT Sport’s Champions League coverage – quizzed the flame-haired former midfield dynamo if he agreed with Louis van Gaal that Marouane Fellaini could be the answer to United’s striker problem.
“No, not really,” was the deadpan response from the medal-laden Scholes, who remains to be convinced of the Dutchman’s tenure at Old Trafford. Scholes clearly hasn’t quite realised that his has come to an end, referring to United as “we”. Rio Ferdinand was slightly more diplomatic, but both were clearly hoping for a United win and Wayne Rooney to end his goal drought.
“Makes you want to get your boots back on Scholesy,” quipped Rio as both glanced out at the hazy late summer evening. Scholesy wasn’t getting swept away by the sentimentality of it all.
Michael Owen, on co-commentary duty with Ian Darke was in no doubt Rooney would score – should have put a few quid on it Michael.
Used to the combative brutality of boxing, Darke pitched his handing of Manchester United’s clash with Brugge somewhere between Wilfred Owen and Quentin Tarantino, with a patronising hint of Craig Doyle in there too. He started off by extolling Brugge and its “medieval charm” before recommending a visit to the Belgian town – been there, bought the ridiculously strong Belgian beer served in a decorative tall stemmed glass, Ian.
Before kick-off, he reached for the slightly inappropriate thought that United would be hoping their “European hopes were not left to die on a Flanders field”. Later, when a Rooney hat-trick had routed the Belgians, he exclaimed that “Brugge are getting ripped limb from limb”.
With United safety through to the group stages of the Champions League, attention switched to the draw. With a list of possible opponents before them, Scholes revealed that, unlike the travel nut Darke, he wasn’t a fan of the long haul.
“I wouldn’t want to go to Ukraine, I wouldn’t want to go to Turkey, I wouldn’t want to go to Greece...”
Maybe BT Sport could get all the games played in OIdham. Scholes would fry like Steve Staunton in Orlando if he was forced to pitch up on the banks of the Bosphorus.
