IT'S not often that Dodgy Tackle can go all Woodward and Bernstein but today is an exception. Drum roll, please... DT can exclusively reveal that the Giro d'Italia is still going on. Despite the appearance that the race finished on Sunday after three days in Belfast, the Glens of Antrim, Armagh and the road down to Dublin, sources have indicated to Dodgy Tackle that the riders re-emerged somewhere called 'Italy' on Tuesday and are still pedalling away.
Now you've digested that bombshell, here's another bit of news that may seem a little difficult to, ahem, swallow.
Tinkoff-Saxo, the team of Nicholas Roche (right), the home favourite who didn't wipe himself and half his team out on the Newtownards Road last Friday, has signed a new sponsorship deal with an Italian beef producer.
So far, so meaty, but when you realise that the team features two riders who claim they fell foul - or should that be fowl? (no, it shouldn't, that's for chicken) - of beef that led to failed drugs tests, then there is no escaping the irony of this move. Alberto Contador famously put his failed drugs test for clenbuterol during the 2010 Tour de France down to some less than reputable Spanish steak, but he was eventually stripped of his victory in the race after his case went to the Court of Arbitration for Sport.
Team-mate Michael Rogers said his failed test for clenbuterol in December was a result of eating contaminated meat in China. His initial suspension was lifted after his explanation was accepted by cycling's governing body and he became free to race again last month.
Though why he's currently wasting his time in Italy when everyone knows the race he's in wrapped up in Merrion Square is anyone's guess.
* IF you're not going to be picked for your country's World Cup squad, it's something to know your other half is enraged by the decision, so Samir Nasri can't feel too bad to be missing out on a trip to Brazil given the Twitter carpet-bombing it prompted from his girlfriend Anara Atanes.
While DT doesn't think foul - or should that be fowl? (sorry) - language is big or clever, Atanes' rant at France manager Didier Deschamps reached its high point with some spectacular reiteration.
Tweet one: "**** france and **** deschamps! What a **** manager!" Tweet two: "In case u didnt read my tweet properly.... I'll repeat myself..... **** FRANCE!!!!! And **** deschamps!"