It is impossible to report on the plight of victims of abuse without becoming emotionally impacted by the stories they tell.
While I am always mindful that I am reporting the story and not part of that story, there are occasions when I have privately shed a tear in despair at the horror of what some people have endured, at times with remarkable dignity and strength.
For a victim of child abuse, sexual, physical or mental to speak out is particularly brave.
Abuse of any kind is almost always based on an imbalance of power, creating fear and rendering the victim too terrified to speak out.
That applies to any kind of abuse, be it in a domestic setting, or the kind of institutional abuse that has been well documented recently in relation to paedophile priest Fr Malachy Finegan.
I have enormous respect for victims of that violent, brutal man who had young boys in his charge, at St Colman's College in Newry, boys who lived in abject fear.
The stories of children who existed in a climate of enforced silence and in constant terror of the pervert priest, makes for difficult listening.
The lucky ones developed an ability to make themselves all but invisible, to avoid the wrath of a man who should never have been allowed in the company of children in the first place.
Those who were unfortunate enough to come to his attention were beaten and brutalised others were sexually abused, their innocence and vulnerability exploited for the sick gratification of a psychopath.
A new police investigation into the abuse is to be welcomed but it is too late for Finegan's victims given he died in 2002, his death was marked by a requiem mass said by former bishop John McAreavey, glowing obituaries in the local press and an elaborate headstone to mark his grave.
The walls of St Colman's remained adorned with pictures of the pervert priest until just a few months ago.
He died with his public standing intact, his victims on the other hand have carried with them, the burden of abuse.
Given many of their experiences had been reported years previously, it is a shocking demonstration of how the church put the reputation of the institution above all else.
That all this occurred after the details of serial paedophile Fr Brendan Smyth, a man who may have abused more than 200 children, and yet proper and appropriate safe guarding measures were not put in place immediately should shame all of those involved.
Malachy Finegan should have spent his final days behind bars, instead he died a 'pillar of the community' and his is not an isolated case, he is not the only paedophile who made the church his home, the children in their care his prey.
There is an opportunity - yet another one - for the church to finally make amends.
To be open and accountable, to cut out the rot that has driven parishioners from its churches.
I am not a religious person, I find a patriarchal system of organised religion that demonised women and children for decades abhorrent.
However, I fully recognised and have seen at first hand the comfort that faith can bring to many, including those within my own family.
I recognise the work that faith based charitable organisations carry out around the world and have met genuine and sincere clergy members and recognise the role of the churches in helping shape our peace process.
There is a genuine opportunity for the Catholic church to help heal the hurt done, first by addressing the outstanding complaints, referring all to the PSNI and fully assisting detectives tasked with investigating historic abuse.
Apologising to all those hurt by the actions of cruel and predatory clergy and lifting the 'gagging' orders that were imposed on child victims across Ireland and beyond would be a good place to start.
People who want to tell their story should be allowed to, those who want to heal privately should be given the help and resources needed to do so.
And maybe when all that is said and done a period of inner reflection and modernisation to allow those with genuine faith to serve at the altar, whether they be man, woman, husband or wife.
Breath life back into a church that claims to have family values at its heart but refuses to allow those who serve it to find love and have a family of their own.
