Life

Brad Pitt's cringeworthy GQ fashion shoot in America's national parks

Maeve Connoly

Maeve Connolly

Maeve is the deputy digital editor at The Irish News. She has worked for the company since 2000.

Brad Pitt in a variety of US national parks. Picture by Ryan McGinley for GQ, from Twitter 
Brad Pitt in a variety of US national parks. Picture by Ryan McGinley for GQ, from Twitter  Brad Pitt in a variety of US national parks. Picture by Ryan McGinley for GQ, from Twitter 

THIS week’s three ring circus involves Brad Pitt, GQ magazine and the national parks of America. That’s right, Sleb Safari’s talking about Brad Pitt’s post-break up, pre-divorce interview with GQ magazine and corresponding fashion-rich photo shoot.

And that’s why the cover of GQ yells ‘BRAD PITT IN AMERICA’S NATIONAL PARKS’. You wouldn’t normally associate the two, nor give them equal billing but hey ho, onwards we go.

The photos have what is best described as a Zoolander meets Planet Earth aesthetic. All that’s missing is David Attenborough rumbling “the Brad Pitt, considered one of the most beautiful creatures on the planet, is wearing Armani waders as it traverses an expanse of water in the Everglades that is teaming with alligators”.

Honestly if Brad’s not lying in the sand in a foetal position, he’s wearing high waisted trousers with a drop crotch or wading through the Everglades with nary a thought for the alligators. To be fair, there’d be so little eating on him than it wouldn’t be worth a gator’s while.

Watch Brad Pitt take an epic road trip across America's national parks https://t.co/jpjc0WQeut pic.twitter.com/bjGRyJZS7c — GQ Style (@GQStyle) May 3, 2017

Video from GQ on Twitter

The interview is spectacular too. There’s a measure of pretension, a pinch of self-pity and a teaspoon of someone-on-his-payroll-shouldn’t-have-let-this-happen.

The man must be heartbroken. No-one, not even an old cynic like Sleb Safari, doubts that, but golly gosh the PR machine is in such a high gear that smoke is pouring out of the bonnet.

When he talks about working with clay and “getting to feel emotion at my fingertips” we’re supposed to picture him sitting at a potter’s wheel a la Demi Moore in Ghost, right?

The more he talks the more obvious it is why Angelina Jolie moved herself and the couple’s six children out.

“...I can't remember a day since I got out of college when I wasn't boozing or had a spliff, or something... I mean I stopped everything except boozing when I started my family. But even this last year, you know—things I wasn't dealing with. I was boozing too much. It's just become a problem...

“I enjoy wine very, very much, but I just ran it to the ground. I had to step away for a minute. And truthfully I could drink a Russian under the table with his own vodka. I was a professional. I was good.”

He compares the end of his marriage to a death and says he’s “well aware” that he “hit the lottery” yet “would waste my time on those hollow pursuits”.

But, good news, he’s replaced the booze with cranberry juice and fizzy water and has “the cleanest urinary tract in all of LA” to show for it.

Every cloud Brad, every cloud.

He’s started seeing a therapist too. In fact, he’s on his third.

“You know, I just started therapy. I love it, I love it. I went through two therapists to get to the right one,” he said. And how wise that was.

With all the ribbing Brad’s getting for this photoshoot that therapist of his is going to be kept very, very busy.

P Diddy rocks a cape

Sean Combs takes a break on the staircase at The Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Benefit Gala 2017. Picture by Aurore Marechal,PA Wire
Sean Combs takes a break on the staircase at The Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Benefit Gala 2017. Picture by Aurore Marechal,PA Wire Sean Combs takes a break on the staircase at The Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Benefit Gala 2017. Picture by Aurore Marechal,PA Wire

AND so to New York where the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s cleaning team are still cleaning up after the annual fashion and fundraising extravaganza known in shorthand as the Met Gala.

Every year Solange, Rihanna and Sarah Jessica Parker bring their game and leave everyone else on the subs’ bench.

This year SJP was absent but Ruth Negga and Janelle Monae stepped up and joined the first team.

What though of the men who might feel they have less opportunity to adhere to the annual theme which for 2017 was avant garde?

Step forward Jaden Smith who looked splendid in a Louis Vuitton jacket from the women’s collection and strolled around with his recently cut dreadlocks in his hand, because, Jaden Smith.

But the moment of the night was Puff Daddy/P Diddy/Sean Combs’.

He looked magnificent in a suit and cape, like some sort of avant garde Dracula, and tickled everyone link when he reclined on the steps of the Met to admire his girlfriend as she posed for the cameras.

Avant Garde Dracula 1 Met Gala 0

Competition Winner

The winner of a case of Graham Norton’s Sauvignon Blanc is Teresa Pearson from Dungannon. Congratulations!

Social Media Smut

 

I'm in good company

A post shared by DIDDY (@diddy) on