DEPRESSING news from the Hasselhoff/Roberts household. Hayley has banned David from singing at their wedding. The Hoff doesn’t need this hassle.
Hayley wants to get married in Italy and have Il Divo perform instead of her groom. How very near sighted.
Think of the fun the rest of us could have if the Hoff put on a show on his wedding day.
He loves Facebook Live and broadcasts regularly from the pool at his LA home, his boat and, most recently, the nail bar. Hayley was at a yoga class so David got his nails done. Fair enough.
It would be amazing if Hayley allowed the Hoff to sing on their big day. Think about it, he’d be standing on top of the appropriately named top table, several buttons too many open on his shirt, fist pumping and singing Looking For Freedom like he did atop the Berlin Wall in 1989.
A Real Good Feeling (Party Version), that’s what Hayley is depriving us – and her guests – of.
Did you know the Hoff has set multiple Guinness World Records? Sleb Safari did not.
Apparently the actor, singer, producer and businessman (can someone who told a court that he has $4,000 to his name still be called a businessman or is just that he’s not a successful businessman? Discuss) holds the record for being the most watched man on television and carrying out the highest reverse bungee jump.
Sleb Safari will happily stand corrected if you, or indeed anyone you know, has out reverse bungee jumped David Hasselhoff.
The Hoff says his fiancée “wants to get married some place in Italy, and she wants Il Divo to play”.
“I met them. They were like ‘Oh my God, the Knight Rider’. I really like them. They are great. I wish them every success.”
That’s nice of you David, they’ve really been struggling but that endorsement will do them the world of good.
David would prefer Boyz II Men to perform. David is 66. Hayley is 36. Hoff the record? Sleb Safari suspects the music for their wedding day won’t be the only thing they clash over.
“I want to do a massive incredibly cool wedding and having something people will never forget.” Hayley’s already put the kibosh on that David.
“There's definitely going to be two weddings. One that's real, and one that's Hoff the Hook!”
Dear Lord what does that mean? Is he going to dress up as a pantomime character? If so he could borrow Katie Price’s pantomime horse outfit.
Better yet, the happy couple could borrow the outfits Katie dressed her husband and kids in for the launch of her equestrian reality TV show. You know the outfits Sleb Safari means – the girls looked like disco dancing Rapunzels with hooves and the boys were a cross between Aladdin, the Easter Bunny and My Little Pony.
Now that’s how you party your Hasselhoff.
Beyonce didn’t like her wedding dress
FASHION news from ‘top’ designer Tina Knowles Lawson aka: Beyonce’s mum.
Tina designed her daughter’s wedding dress just as she designed outfits for Destiny’s Child (and you remember how bad some of those were).
Tina was on the Today Show in the US a few days ago and was asked about making her daughter’s wedding dress.
“She was so sweet to let me do that. She came back later one day and she said, ‘You know, when my daughter gets married, I’m going to let her pick out her own dress.
“I was like, oh, wait, maybe she wasn’t so excited about it at the time, but she’s a sweetheart.”
Ouch. That must have stung.
Tiddles turn three
Happy three-week anniversary to Tiddles! What do you mean who? It’s Sleb Safari’s inspired portmanteau for hot new sleb couple Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston.
They’ve been together for less than a month but have already squeezed in trips to Rhode Island, Tennessee, Rome and Suffolk.
What Sleb Safari wouldn’t give for their air miles.
High Five Jodie Marsh
Jodie Marsh appeared on This Morning last week with lipstick smeared on her teeth and Twitter got mad at Holly Willoughby for not telling her.
Why? Were Holly and Jodie the only people in the studio? Has Philip Schofield lost his sight?
“Bad girl code” someone tweeted, but Jodie took it in her stride: “Aw no one told me about lipstick on teeth. Never mind. It’s only a fun chat show! Hope you all enjoyed.”
High five Jodie for not giving a fiddlers.
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