Opinion

Alex Kane: My cat would be a better secretary of state than Karen Bradley

Alex Kane

Alex Kane

Alex Kane is an Irish News columnist and political commentator and a former director of communications for the Ulster Unionist Party.

Karen Bradley should not be involved in talks to revive Stormont. Picture by Brian Lawless/PA Wire
Karen Bradley should not be involved in talks to revive Stormont. Picture by Brian Lawless/PA Wire Karen Bradley should not be involved in talks to revive Stormont. Picture by Brian Lawless/PA Wire

JOHN Alderdice - Baron Alderdice, as he is now - is a former leader of the Alliance Party, the first Speaker of the Northern Ireland Assembly, a psychiatrist by profession and generally regarded as one the most measured and thoughtful politicians we have.

He's not a man who puts the boot into someone just for the fun of it, or grabs an easy headline with an offensive attack.

He thinks long and hard before he speaks and almost always chooses the helpful line over the deliberately hurtful put-down.

So it was quite a shock to read this tweet from him on Tuesday evening: "In 30 years of public life I have never before called for a Secretary of State for Northern Ireland to be replaced, but Karen Bradley does not understand NI's problems. She is a perfectly pleasant person but she does not have what is necessary for the job."

Wow - that's a bit like your favourite, usually mild-mannered, non-aggressive uncle jumping over the ropes into a wrestling ring and knocking 10 bells out of someone who he thinks isn't fit to be in the ring in the first place.

For Alderdice it was both unexpected and brutal: which is precisely why someone in Downing Street - either the Prime Minister herself, or a trusted adviser - needs to sit up and take notice.

Karen Bradley must not be allowed to have anything more to do with the next round of talks: which, according to her, are being pencilled in for early May, once the local elections are out of the way.

My cat, who spends a great deal of time watching news programmes with me - although he also dozes off, or just licks his bottom - has a greater grasp of the realities and nuances of local politics than does Mrs Bradley.

Indy, my 20-month-old son, who has yet to master even the simplest of words, would probably make a more pertinent contribution to the talks process than Mrs Bradley.

She is the Cabinet equivalent of the poor sod who is always the last person to be picked for a team; and only picked because the regulations required it.

We need a big hitter at the moment, someone with the clout to bang heads together and the insight required to know which buttons to press and which key players need to be brought onside.

We also need someone who is prepared to read themselves into the brief, to ask the right questions and to know the depth and breadth of existing and potential fault-lines.

What worries me most about her is the fact that she knows that Theresa May puts less confidence in her than she does in Arlene Foster; and yet knowing that to be the case she still hangs onto the job because the words 'cabinet minister' on her CV seem to be more important to her than her own dignity and authority.

Of all the secretaries of state we have had she is, and by a very considerable margin, the worst.

Previous contenders for that title - and there have been two or three - have been able to point to at least one local party leader who thinks they're doing a good job.

Some have been unpopular with politicians but quite liked by the general public.

Most can usually rely upon a handful of nodding-heads from the self-styled leadership of civic society to smile sweetly with them in photo-opportunities and offer a few kind words in press statements, often with a steer from someone in the NIO press office.

Yet Mrs Bradley has no party leaders, or civic leaders, or 'ordinary' people rushing to her defence. She is as friendless as she is useless.

To be honest, I have no idea why she puts herself through what is clearly a form of torture.

As I say, when someone like John Alderdice speaks out to argue in favour of your removal from office - and he will have dealt with a few not-really-up-to-the-role secretaries of state in his time - then you really have passed the point of no return and no recovery.

There is nothing - absolutely nothing - that she can do between now and May to make her fit to chair the talks process.

And nor can she be of any possible use to any 'outsider' she might be inclined to draft in for the role.

The most useful thing she could do, of course, although the rules don't permit it, would be to appoint an 'outsider' to take on the full role and responsibilities of secretary of state.

My cat, although technically not an 'outsider', is free.