YOU may not feel anything at the moment, but apparently you are being branded. No, it has nothing to do with the virus or the vaccination.
It is the British government's attempt to mark Northern Ireland's centenary.
Branding, in case you are not sure, is creating an image to make something look better than it really is.
The British government has revealed a branding package for the north, which includes images of Olympic gold medallist, Mary Peters, the Giant's Causeway and Seamus Heaney.
Their branding message is, "Our Story in the Making: NI beyond 100" (no, I don't know what that means either).
It falls somewhere between an advert for freshly baked bread and the unreal world of a Father Ted episode, attempting to show that Northern Ireland washes whiter.
In fairness, they could hardly have shaped a theme around 50 years of anti-Catholic discrimination, followed by 25 years of violence, including Bloody Sunday and the IRA's anti-civilian bombing campaign.
Nor had it much scope in the more recent Stormont scandals, including RHI, Red Sky, Nama, Research Services Ireland, MLAs being paid for years for doing nothing and all topped off with pensioner patients being treated in a hospital car park.
So what, you ask, is the point of this £3 million centenary celebration?
Secretary of State, Brandon (no, not Branding) Lewis, says it will "shine a light on what makes Northern Ireland so special" (even though he recently refused to shine a light on Pat Finucane's killing).
He says that branding will bring NI to the attention of the world. (Can't you just imagine Chinese farmers pausing in their fields to straighten their backs and remark, "I see Northern Ireland has been freshly branded"?)
Looking back at the north's 50th anniversary celebrations in 1971 offers little help.
It was centred on an exhibition on Ormeau Embankment (where, with no sense of irony, poorly built pre-fab houses were demolished to make way for it) and consisted of a series of themed domes, including one celebrating 'The Genius of Ulster'.
Unfortunately, Stormont introduced internment during the celebrations and the biggest themed dome of 1971 turned out to be Long Kesh. (Although, in fairness, that year's Tourist Board's campaign of 'Come to Ulster' attracted thousands of extra visitors - most of whom were British soldiers.)
Unionists have welcomed plans for the current commemoration, but Sinn Féin and the SDLP refuse to take part (how about a dome depicting abstentionism?)
Their view that the north is effectively an historical wrong is perfectly valid - or it would be, if they had not spent the last 25 years administering it (badly) on behalf the British government (there's nothing like eating your cake and having it).
(Will Sinn Féin now support the centenary of the founding of the southern state in 1921? If so, then partition was not the disaster they claim.)
We do not yet know what events are planned for 2021. Will Stormont introduce two national holidays (one for Protestants and one for Catholics), a commemorative two-faced coin (you can make your own remark about that one) or perhaps a pageant depicting the massive increase in food banks while MLAs eat subsidised meals at Stormont?
Whatever happens, it will be hard to generate any enthusiasm for a programme of events which will effectively degenerate into another sectarian argument.
Which is why we need some original thinking to capture that spirit of not caring what either side does any more.
So why don't we organise a new type of commemoration: a cross-community celebration of apathy, marked by a giant exhibition of indifference, with themed domes of lethargy, boredom and unresponsiveness.
That would have as much relevance to the problems of real life here as anything the Centenary Forum will dream up - and we could use the £3 million for something more useful.
So this column's suggested branding is: "2021: Beyond Indifference - a celebration of detachment." And you never know, it might give the Chinese farmers something to talk about.
