Opinion

Allison Morris: Spare a thought this Christmas for kids in poverty or women in abusive relationships

The countdown is on and I don’t mean until the next election, in fact given the day it is this column must in the interest of fairness be a politics free zone.

I’m taking about Christmas and the festive period when families get some down time together to eat, drink and be merry.

I love Christmas, as one of eight children the Morris house was always a fun place to be on Christmas morning.

That love was passed down to my own children, now grown up our work commitments mean we don’t get to spend as much time together as I’d like and that makes the holidays all the more special.

But for some families this period is one to dread for numerous reasons.

They may have lost a loved one and this time of year just amplifies that loss.

They might be alone and for them it’s just another day, albeit one when all the shops are closed and company is in short supply.

Around one fifth of children here live below the poverty line, with household income less than 60 per cent of the national average.

Food bank use is on the rise and while not a religious person I stand in awe at those church groups who have been filling the gaps, providing food parcels and comfort packages to those in need.

The mental health crisis in Northern Ireland is epidemic and therefore the rise in prescription drug addiction is hardly surprising.

Back in 2016 my colleague Brendan Hughes revealed that more people had died by suicide in peacetime than as a result of violence throughout the Troubles.

Since then that figure has increased dramatically. Despite numerous campaigns and awareness groups the number of people taking their own life continues to rise.

People living in poverty with no means to borrow from regulated lenders instead get money from paramilitaries and criminal loan sharks as desperation to provide for their children increases at this time of year.

The rate of interest is unsurprisingly criminally extortionate, the penalty for not repaying a violent one.

The PSNI and Women’s Aid have been running awareness campaigns this month about domestic abuse, which shockingly increases at Christmas.

In the 12 months from October 2018 to September 2019 there were 31,817 domestic abuse incidents reported in Northern Ireland, an increase of 790 on the previous year.

It is also one of the highest figures since the PSNI started to record domestic abuse data almost 15 years ago.

Over 80 per cent of the crimes reported were harassment. Incidents of stalking and coercive control are recorded in Northern Ireland as harassment because we still don’t have the proper legislation and until there is a justice minister to legislate we never will.

The most dangerous time for any woman in an abusive relationship is when they try to leave, add into that the stress of trying to protect small children who should be excited that Santa is coming and not living in fear.

Not all controlling relationships come with violence but all violent relationships come with control.

And any loss of control no matter how small can be enough to send an abuser into a violent and sometimes murderous rage.

Northern Ireland has one of the highest rates of femicide in western Europe, based on size of the population.

In the Republic, 230 women have died violently over the past 23 years, according to Women's Aid.

The organisation says women are 87 per cent more likely to be killed by a man who is known to them.

At this time of year more than any other I appreciate the fact that I am safe and not afraid or responsible for another person’s behaviour.

It isn’t easy, I know that. But you can’t fix them, their behaviour is not a reflection on you, you deserve better.

For anyone dreading the festive period the 24 hour Domestic and Sexual abuse helpline is 0808 802 1414 and please look out for each other. A kind and understanding word can go a long way.