Opinion

Tom Kelly: You can buy and sell flags, but you can't eat or spend them

Tom Kelly

Tom Kelly

Tom Kelly is an Irish News columnist with a background in politics and public relations. He is also a former member of the Policing Board.

Republican and unionist politicians are only too ready to wrap themselves in the security blanket of a tricolour or Union flag when they feel exposed
Republican and unionist politicians are only too ready to wrap themselves in the security blanket of a tricolour or Union flag when they feel exposed Republican and unionist politicians are only too ready to wrap themselves in the security blanket of a tricolour or Union flag when they feel exposed

AS a rule I tend to regard a half-glass better than an empty one, or half a loaf as preferable to none at all, but even I couldn't understand the optimism of the Prime Minister returning to the House of Commons for a third meaningful vote on only half of her motion.

When the votes were finally counted on Friday afternoon she had indeed reduced those against her proposal from 230 to a mere 58.

Had her initial defeats been below 70, by now she would have bludgeoned MPs through boredom into accepting the Withdrawal Agreement.

But the gap was too big to bridge if her strategy of wearing the opposition down was ever to work.

Mrs May is one awful politician but with a steely demeanour. However, she didn't just lack authority - she lacked the ability to engender loyalty.

But modern Tories are never loyal. Thatcher destroyed all vestiges of one nation Conservatism.

Honours doled out to some leading Brexiters; Labour MPs with Brexit-backing constituencies offered regeneration packages and the DUP, as always, were standing in the wings like Oliver Twist but all to no avail.

Then the Prime Minister decided to go one step further and in an attempt to satisfy the insatiable appetites of Brexit-supporting Salome's on her backbenches - she offered up her own head on a plate.

And still it didn't work. Mrs May appears to have all the qualities of a 13th century self-flagellating nun.

But one thing is certain - the Prime Minister is as politically dead as Monty Python's parrot.

As the customer said, "'Voom?!' Mate, this bird wouldn't 'voom' if you put four million volts through it. It's bleeding demised."

It is hard to imagine the Prime Minister reading out Invictus at the start of next week's Cabinet meeting.

The Prime Minister may as well pick out the wallpaper for her new home and plan a walking holiday in Snowdonia.

DUP MPs are preening themselves. They love taking scalps. Not so good at offering them up though.

What the mainstream British public make of the DUP is unknown.

The DUP claim they are inundated with support. They should test that theory.

If Nigel Farage with his profile and organisation failed to get elected to Parliament six times, it is unlikely that Jim Shannon or Sammy Wilson would ever get a look in.

The DUP is and remains a regional British pro-Union party.

They say that patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels and there is no better example of that than Northern Ireland.

Republican and unionist politicians are only too ready to wrap themselves in the security blanket of a tricolour or Union flag when they feel exposed.

The DUP are doing that right now with this nonsense about not being neutral on the Union.

No-one expects them to be neutral but nor does anyone expect them to risk the economy and jobs to prove a point already guaranteed under the Good Friday Agreement.

To seasoned eyes this has nothing to do with the Union and much to do with getting one over on their neighbours - in Derry and Dublin.

If the DUP really think the tectonic plates of the Union are moving beneath them because of the backstop, they would be better served looking in their own backyards where their failure to reach out to the Catholic community is paving the way to Dublin much quicker than Brexit.

Naively, they believe that Catholics will opt to remain in the UK even if the demographics move away from a unionist majority.

That is not just naive - it is borderline stupid. Even on social issues, while some Catholics agree with the DUP position, those Catholics would still rather vote for the new Aontú party led by the former Sinn Féin TD Peadar Tóibín than vote DUP.

Even the wacky Irexit - the Irish 'leave the EU' party who share the DUP attitude to the EU - is unashamedly pro-Irish reunification.

So where are these tens of thousands of DUP/pro-Union supporting Catholics going to come from? The reality is they are imaginary.

The DUP and Sinn Féin have ensured that every election in Northern Ireland is a border poll.

Neither have been selling the benefits of their respective aspirations.

They have been peddling fear. Brexit has given the DUP an opportunity to scaremonger their own voters; to confuse them even against their own economic interests.

But whilst you can buy and sell flags, you can't eat or spend them.