Opinion

Tom Kelly: Chipping away at the 'them and us' narrative many of us are stuck in

The Commons will vote on Mrs May's Brexit plan tomorrow
The Commons will vote on Mrs May's Brexit plan tomorrow The Commons will vote on Mrs May's Brexit plan tomorrow

When you live, grow up and indeed grow old in a place like Newry, you can forget that Northern Ireland is not a mono-cultural place. The people you live beside, go to school with or socialise with are 99 per cent from within the nationalist/Catholic community.

Of course, that’s not to say you didn’t know Protestants or unionists. They were there. The cliché that you worked with or were friends with so and so or played football with them was frequently a topic of conversation.

But by and large, we lived (and live) parallel lives. There was no sense of “our wee country”. To be honest there still isn’t. When I hear the jingle ‘the biggest show in the country’ I tend to think of Ryan Tubridy or Miriam O’Callaghan. That’s not to say I deny that Northern Ireland exists or that it sticks in my craw to say Northern Ireland. It doesn’t. It’s where I live. I am Northern Irish. I am an Ulster man in the provincial, not political sense.

University and listening changed that.

As a student, I read of a new Baptist pastor coming to Newry. His name was David McMillan. I hadn’t even been aware of the local Baptist community. I can’t quite remember why but I ferreted out his address and cycled to his home and introduced myself. Without knowing it David became an important part of my growth both intellectually and as a person. Through him I got to know many members of his congregation. It turned out I knew many already or I should say I knew of many. Some such as the McComb and Adams families were amongst the most prominent businesses in Newry. Protestant businesses. It’s odd to say that in 2018 but it was a statement of fact back then. Newry in the 1970s and 80s had many so called ‘Protestant’ businesses that were weaved into the very fabric of the town.

Names that would be unfamiliar to many young people in Newry today. Warnock's, Kennedy’s, Lockhart's, Mitchell’s, to name a few. I always remember Mitchell’s. It was a convenience or general provisions store and a large a black and white portrait of the Queen hung behind the counter. Today it’s my favourite Chinese takeaway. These older businesses disappeared.

The point being that to get to know the ‘other side’ you had to make an effort. Notable exceptions were the local chamber of commerce, credit union and the arts community, like Newry Musical Society and Newry Drama Committee. Civic society, the cement that kept most of Northern Ireland sane during the Troubles and which held people together when violence and politics polarised. It’s lamentable that in 2018, there are those who would seek to drive a wedge through civic society with ill conceived concepts such as civic nationalism and civic unionism.

But back to exploring the other side. At university, I continued to push the boat out to discover more about Protestants/unionists. I was lucky in my first year that four lads from Coleraine Inst ‘fell in’ with four lads from Newry. Folk-nights became a melting pot.

I went further by attending meetings in Fitzroy Presbyterian Church, led by a very charismatic minister, Ken Newell. He spoke words I rarely heard. No priest gave sermons like this man. Ken backed sermons with practical action.

And so the journey continued, learning more about the people who shared but lived separately in the space where we lived. People such as John Dunlop, Desmond Rea, Danny Kennedy, Sylvia Hermon and Grace McGaffin, all of whom with their wisdom and friendship chipped away at my age old myths and shibboleths built up by a life cocooned in one narrative. One singer, one song as they used to say.

By far, the unionist with the most influence on my growth was Sir George Quigley. A far sighted, gifted and visionary man. If anyone could have got me to tog out in a Northern Ireland shirt it was him. George made me a stakeholder in NI plc.

The zenith of all of this searching was welcoming former First Minister Peter Robinson to Newry in 2014. Once the bete noir of all nationalists, Peter was feted, cheered and even serenaded at the chamber dinner. That was the high point of mutual respect and understanding.

Hard to believe that in less than two years, some in the DUP by their language and behaviour over Brexit have shattered and squandered the commonality that underpinned a better future for us all.