Opinion

William Scholes: Foster won't change anyone's mind about the Union

William Scholes

William Scholes

William has worked at The Irish News since 2002. His areas of interest include religion and motoring.

Arlene Foster, speaking at a conference on the Union, argued that unionism was inclusive whereas nationalism was "narrow and exclusive". Picture by John Stillwell/PA Wire
Arlene Foster, speaking at a conference on the Union, argued that unionism was inclusive whereas nationalism was "narrow and exclusive". Picture by John Stillwell/PA Wire Arlene Foster, speaking at a conference on the Union, argued that unionism was inclusive whereas nationalism was "narrow and exclusive". Picture by John Stillwell/PA Wire

EVEN among the heroic low standards we've come to expect from our elected representatives, an Arlene Foster speech can usually be relied upon to be about as much fun as a burst tyre in a Fermanagh rainstorm.

This week's effort lived down to expectations, though it was distinguished by an extra helping of gratuitous vitriol directed at anyone who doesn't identify with the DUP's particular type of unionism.

The key section of her 2,300 word address opened with a truism that people of good will from all political persuasions would find it hard to disagree with: "Unionism is at its best when it is confident, outward-looking and welcoming."

So far, so good. But from this, the former first minister segued to: "Citizenship and rights are essentially unionist issues. They are issues we should set out to reclaim.

"Nationalism is by its nature narrow and exclusive. Being a Unionist is the opposite. Unionism stands for pluralism and multi-culturism. We are inclusive and welcome all."

By "multi-culturism", which isn't a word I can find in a dictionary, Mrs Foster probably meant "multi-culturalism", which does appear in most dictionaries.

Either way, the flow of the argument is, to anyone who takes even a casual interest in what goes on in Northern Ireland, bunkum.

Without breaking stride, Mrs Foster continued: "Confident unionism can capture the diversity that nationalism cannot. It transcends nationalism, and allows individuals to express the cultural values or identity they wish...

"A Northern Ireland which embraces differing cultures and where minorities feel valued is one that few will choose to abandon."

The breathless finale to this section was a cracker: "I want to be a leader who reaches out to promote the value - and the values - of the Union."

Beyond asking why she has gone out of her way to do alienate everyone who wanders into view who disagrees with her, it is hard to know where to start with this delusional nonsense.

Every line is more of a riddle than it is a proposition in an argument making the case for the Union.

The DUP's most prominent public representatives have an almost unmatched gift for weaving casual insults into arias that worm their way into the ear of public consciousness with operatic belligerence

We are used to a lack of self-awareness from Mrs Foster, but here is it so egregious that it is almost admirable.

Just how can citizenship and rights be described as a unionist issue? Setting aside the analysis that the DUP's brand of unionism is essentially a form of Ulster nationalism, how is Irish nationalism - which is to what Mrs Foster can only have been referring - inherently "narrow and exclusive"?

The glib assertion that her unionism is inclusive and welcoming to all is in stark contrast to the way Mrs Foster and her colleagues presented themselves during their last few years in government.

Despite the enormous political capital enjoyed by herself and her party, Mrs Foster's DUP has never got close to having the courage to reach out to the 'other'.

When people in Northern Ireland hear Mrs Foster talk about her commitment to diversity, they measure that against the evidence of the last few years.

They identify the DUP as the crocodile-baiting, yoghurt-currying, yo-hoing, Arlene's-on-fire chanting, RHI-denying, Red Sky's-all-right-Nelson's-delight, get-the-ethnics-out, Nama-mia-here-I-go-again, Spad-tastic, FOI-dodging, nothing-to-do-with-us, flag-bearers for flag-waving, Líofa-out-loud, put-it-on-a-Post-it party.

Its most prominent public representatives have an almost unmatched gift for weaving casual insults into arias that worm their way into the ear of public consciousness with operatic belligerence.

And that's before you get to dogmatism of the Brexit fantasy and putting forward a figure like William 'Dundalk air strike' McCrea for a role in the House of Lords.

Other parts of Mrs Foster's speech will have also been met with raised eyebrows, such as the reference to the National Health Service "which is the envy of others" - despite the manifest difficulties which beset health and social care in Northern Ireland and which are hardening through the absence of a pulse at Stormont.

Mrs Foster was speaking at an event in London organised by Policy Exchange. This might sound like an insurance price comparison website but is in fact a Conservative-aligned think-tank.

The conference was called 'The Union and Unionism - Past, Present and Future'.

Despite the rhetoric, it is easier to imagine the DUP's brand of unionism as falling more into the throwback category than that of thrusting visionary.

Beyond the jibes, there was nothing in Mrs Foster's speech to persuade anyone not already convinced of the merits of the Union. No-one should have any fear of those arguments being made with confidence. But who is going to make them?