So near and yet so far - the St Valentine’s Day talks massacre was objectively progress, as Sinn Féin and the DUP reached a deal between themselves, while republicans revealed they are genuinely set on returning to Stormont. But what use are clever semantics on the difference between standalone and separate language acts, when the DUP has taken no steps to prepare its base for the necessary compromise?
The unionist party will no doubt take a month or two to work on that and try again. The real setback is the rising public antagonism each Stormont failure ratchets up.
Sinn Féin was taken by surprise last year by the intransigence of its own supporters - now the same has happened to the DUP. However, Sinn Féin has long experience of dropping shibboleths, moving on and bringing its electorate with it. The DUP has arguably never done this, preferring to slowly fudge its way out of corners. There may be time for that at Stormont - but without candid and calming leadership of unionist voters, even the cleverest deal will not be enough.
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One of the enraging notions that might usefully be debunked is that unionist objections to Irish are outrageously intolerant and paranoid. They are, of course, just routinely intolerant and paranoid. Almost every country in the world - including such failed political entities as France and Canada - has a language dispute of at least equal nastiness, wrapped up in an inseparable row over sovereignty. We are a beacon of neighbourliness compared to Belgium and an uncanny mirror held up to Macedonia, where an identical row has been raging for an identical time. Even Norway, where sovereignty is uncontested, has had over a century of bitterness between its dialects, each of which is basically an Ulster-Scots of Norwegian, which in turn is merely an Ulster-Scots of Danish. Perhaps it is living on an island that has left us so strangely oblivious to one of the most basic features of human society.
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Ulster-Scots may have its Scandinavian equivalents but it is not a match for Irish and unionists know it - a critical point to understand in the Stormont stand-off. The DUP wasted most of last year trying to balance an Irish language act with Ulster-Scots ‘cultural’ legislation, hoping it could portray this as like for like. A complex three-part legislative process is still being proposed to save face. However, what the DUP wants for itself in return for an Irish language act is so-called ‘sustainability’ of the executive - a guarantee that one party cannot collapse Stormont again. This might involve changes to laws, rules or just a commitment from republicans.
Sinn Féin has made offers on this and it was discussed again at the latest talks but the details have not been released. What can be said is that the DUP did not feel confident it had enough for a deal, nor has it told its supporters this is what would constitute an actual deal. These two facts are not unconnected.
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Serious violence at a funeral in Lurgan has been condemned by SDLP assembly member Dolores Kelly, who said: “It’s very bad for the reputation of the Traveller community, who have had reasonably good relations with the community in the Lurgan area.”
This was no platitude - relations between travellers and settled people are slightly better in Craigavon than elsewhere, as locals often note, although nobody would pretend there are not still problems.
The half-empty layout of Craigavon means it functions as the edge of Lurgan for this purpose, raising an intriguing question: has the new city’s extra elbow room kept both sides at a respectful distance?
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You would need a heart of stone not to laugh at Ulster University’s quandary over psychology professor Richard Lynn. Awarded the honorary title ‘emeritus’ on his retirement two decades ago, Prof Lynn writes papers alleging intelligence differences between the races and between the sexes, putting him beyond the academic pale. He was doing this at Ulster well before his retirement, which did not stop him getting his title. Until recently, whenever Prof Lynn hit the headlines, the university merely pleaded with journalists to note that ‘emeritus’ does not mean ‘still works here’.
But now Ulster has had enough and says it is “actively considering” withdrawing the title.
There is plenty to consider. Although emeritus professors have no employee rights they are still legally protected from discrimination, which in Northern Ireland includes grounds of political opinion, not to mention race and sex. If this ever comes to court it will make gay cake look like a scone.
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Spencer Beattie, the new grand master of the Orange Order, is a lifelong model railway enthusiastic with “a large personal collection of trains and rolling stock”, according to the Belfast Telegraph.
His hobby is entirely appropriate, as the standard width of model railway track is known as ‘OO gauge’.
True enthusiasts like their trains to go out and back rather than around in circles, which also feels like it might be relevant.
newton@irishnews.com
