Opinion

Alex Kane: With my own children, I now understand the magic of Christmas

Happy Christmas: Little Indy enjoys a trip to see Santa Claus
Happy Christmas: Little Indy enjoys a trip to see Santa Claus Happy Christmas: Little Indy enjoys a trip to see Santa Claus

When I carried Indy, my newborn son, back to the recovery bay around midday on July 19, I heard Frankie Laine's version of I Believe playing in the background:

"I believe above the storm the smallest prayer can still be heard,

I believe that someone in the great somewhere hears every word;

Every time I hear a newborn baby cry, or touch a leaf, or see the sky,

Then I know why, I believe."

I looked down at Indy, barely an hour old, and cried. He was wrapped in a blanket and snuggled into the crook of my arm. Beauty in its most simple, yet most profound form. A truly wondrous thing to behold.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't in the process of abandoning my atheism; but I was in the process of fully understanding, for the first time, that there is something almost miraculous about your baby being placed in your arms. It's a moment you never forget: the beginning of a lifetime bond and proof, in an often cold, brutal world, that there is nothing better than love. Nothing more important than love. Nothing more important for the rest of your life than raising your children in a safe, secure, loving environment.

And it's amazing what you will do for those children, particularly when they are small. When I was a young man, without children - and much more cynical than I am now - I could never understand the hoopla of Christmas. I used to make fun of my friends for indulging what I dismissed as the 'Santa nonsense.'

But since becoming a Dad - something which didn't happen until my mid-40s - I know exactly what is meant by the line: "You do it for the children, Alex." I remember building presents in the early hours of Christmas morning. I remember biting the carrots in half and covering the lounge floor in flour and leaving a trail of Santa's footprints between the fireplace and the table. I remember the look of amazement and joy, along with the shiny-eyed delight, as the girls crept in on Christmas morning. I remember the dogs rolling in the wrapping paper as the girls ripped open their presents. I remember holding Kerri's hand and thinking that life couldn't get better than those Christmas mornings.

So what if it is based on a charade? The most wonderful moments often are. I cry every year during It's A Wonderful Life, even though I know it's a mere contrivance. I want it to be true. I want to believe that somebody, watching the film for the first time, will realise that even a difficult life has meaning and worth. I cry when I watch Miracle On 34th Street. I want Santa to be real. I cheer at the end. I want to believe, I want my children to believe, that magic can spring from the most unlikely of places. I want them to know that a happy memory is often the most powerful and comforting company on a dark day in a lonely place.

Megan still 'gets' the wonder of the occasion. Lilah-Liberty has creeping doubts (she questions how he can get down a chimney which has been blocked off; and knows that not all the shopping mall Santas can be real), but still has the sparkle when she opens the doors on the Advent calendar. They both want Indy to enjoy his first Christmas. They both want him to know that Santa is real - even for a boy who is just five months old. They both want him to be on the 'nice' list.

I think the best we can do as parents is allow as much wonder and magic as is possible to enter the lives of our children. I know that those of you with religious beliefs look upon Christmas as something much more important than the picture I present. That said, I think we can all agree that Christmas is a time for counting our blessings, treasuring our family and friends and remembering that most of us are lucky enough to be in a position to keep an eye and an ear out for those less fortunate. Not just during a few days in December, but in every other month as well.

Wherever and however you spend your Christmas I hope it will be a good one. I'm a lucky man, a blessed man: I look at Kerri, Megan, Lilah-Liberty and Indy and see everything I could ever possibly want in front of me already. Happy Christmas.