A letter to my daughters:
``Who could have scripted it? You two starting great jobs a mile apart within a couple of weeks, in a city of nine million people that stretches the distance from Belfast to Maghera. Fair play to providence and to yourselves: persistence delivering with panache – as ever. London won’t know its luck.
Back in the day, Irish people used to write letters to their loved ones in England. Posting a letter takes thoughtfulness. The author measures words and content, spilling views and smoothing upsets, sustaining relationships, dispensing care, folding them all up and trusting them to a mailbox. A good letter could take a couple of days to write. And as long to arrive. What a gift for a lone Irish soul at world’s end.
No such thing back then as email or instant messaging. No read receipts or two blue ticks. Good letters need time to fall together and patience to unfold, just like the love and life you both will hopefully enjoy in coming decades. Neither love nor life should be measured in instants. So practice patience with both. Especially at times of sadness, struggle or stress.
Remember the day we stood on the beach at Inch island, 14 or 15 years ago. And the gun-grey sheets of rain faced us down from the horizon and then began stealing quickly over the water, steadily marching towards us with awesome inevitability, splattering and clattering billions of pellets of wet turmoil onto the bubbling surface tide like tracer bullets killing the calm of a balmy Sunday afternoon.
And then we waited and waited as it stormed the beachhead, holding hands with excitement until the very last moment when we raced the shower back up towards the car. And it caught us and it conquered, pelting down upon us with thick dollops of fat rain and the heartiest laughter of the heavens at our unwinnable game. These are the moments that will matter most when you look back at your past, the memories of experience that capture the presence of love and the essence of fully living.
Amidst the mockery and the fakery, and the plastic disposability of modern culture - and even the hardship or riches that might visit you at different points - it’s the wondrous spiritualism of places like Inch or Grianán or Cranfield that will always bring you back to the precious space in your hearts called home.
You’ll encounter people who lose their way in life, maybe with no connection to home. Too often, their unhappiness stems from looking outside and letting the world define them, rather than searching inside to define the world they deserve. Life’s not easy, so always share compassion. Accept imperfections.
When it comes to friendships, remember that there’s only ever a handful of nuggets among a mountain of fool’s gold. The truest friends have two common characteristics: truth and trust. Invest heavily in both, then set standards of steel.
Don’t forget the places you lived before now, where your sense of home was formed. You both spent your first 18 years growing up in the Bogside, Brandywell and Creggan. What an immense privilege.
It’s where you went to school as gaeilge in a wee portacabin, where you walked and talked and learned about dignity and rights and fairness; where your values and identity were invested with honour, openness and inclusivity. It’s where the importance of treating everyone with equality and integrity was nurtured. Your good manners have gone a long way. So too will your sense of social justice.
Today’s life opportunities flow from the treasured wisdom and welfare of the village clann that helped raise you, not just your parents and incredible grandparents, but all of your relatives and friends and teachers, and particularly the elders in our lives. Never underestimate the generous influence on your lives of elders like Inez, Mary and Fr Des. Ideals matter.
You’ve seen bravery at its best, especially using the law to challenge wrongdoing. And you’ve seen lies at their worst, where standing alone for what’s right is never easy. But when you can’t be brave and do what’s right despite consequences, then you start to diminish the innate greatness that sustains your powerful humanity. Always fasten confidence to your courage.
You’re the most incredible, inspirational and perceptibly wonderful women. To be your daddy makes every day worth living. To be your friend captivates me with unparalleled pride.
So spread your wings now. Catch the upward thermals. Set your course to keep rising farther and beyond the unseen heights that you haven’t yet even dreamt. Stretch out your brilliance. Soar.''
