THE unionist response to the Loughinisland report has stepped up a gear, perhaps ill-advisedly. Seizing on a comment by the chief constable, who said he was “surprised” the police ombudsman had not recommended criminal charges, unionists are claming this failure to pursue anyone accused of collusion means the accusations are groundless. Prosecution is a high bar to set for historic investigations, yet it is still low enough to be attempted - and the ombudsman’s office may feel it has no choice from now on, if a failure to recommend charges starts to be reflexively portrayed as discrediting its work. Is that what unionists or the chief constable want?
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US diplomat Richard Haass has made the case against Brexit by warning that Northern Ireland could vote for a united Ireland or even repartition. Given all the time he has spent in this parish, he must know these scenarios are “nonsense” - as Arlene Foster promptly described them. Haass must also have known they would annoy unionists, who clearly annoyed him by scuppering his 2013 talks process at the last moment. Haass was previously best known in Northern Ireland for telling Gerry Adams to “f*ck off” after 9/11 - and more importantly, for letting it be known he had said so. Diplomacy has its limits and it seems we are adept at finding them.
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As Northern Ireland becomes the focus of ever more elaborate referendum scare stories, one very practical risk from Brexit has been forgotten. The M2/M3/Westlink junction upgrade, expected to begin next year and arguably our most important infrastructure project in decades, is unusually dependent on EU money. Because of its position on European Route E01, which hilariously runs from Larne to Seville, the upgrade is one of very few road schemes in Northern Ireland eligible for EU support. It has an excellent chance of securing significant funds and Stormont has based its plans on this assumption. Only Wesley Johnston at the NI Roads website appears to have noticed Brexit could halt the project indefinitely. Thank goodness the collapse of Western civilisation would almost certainly mean less traffic.
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Sinn Féin finance minister Máirtín Ó Muilleoir has set up an online service to share his “minister’s news”. No other minister seems to have done this, it would appear to duplicate the executive’s well-staffed press office and Ó Muilleoir’s service uses executive branding and was publicised on the executive’s website, yet it is not hosted on Stormont’s servers. However, the strangest aspect of all is that its latest entry is entitled “Working together for a Fresh Start”, without mentioning that Ó Muilleoir just unilaterally revoked Fresh Start by claiming corporation tax is “not a done deal” - forcing Martin McGuinness to contradict him. Is that why he needs his own website?
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Two squads of trainee police officers have been caught up in a scandal about cheating on their final exams, although it is not causing as much of a scandal as might be expected. Perhaps everyone suspects a PSNI final exam consists of multiple choice questions on human trafficking in Ulster-Scots. Then there is the unfortunate precedent of the PSNI watering down its physical exam last year, just as other UK forces were seeking to emulate it, in order to tick some boxes on female recruitment. The Ulster-Scots for human trafficking is of course folk ferryin.
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The UN Committee on the Rights of the Child has published its latest report on the United Kingdom, which included criticism of high levels of child poverty in Northern Ireland plus a call to abolish academic selection. This would normally ensure a week of political hand-wringing and media tear-jerking, all presented as if UN reports were in some way enforceable. So why the mysterious silence? Could it be because the report also demanded an end to religious segregation of schools and the decriminalisation of all forms of abortion? If so, never mind. The UN Committee on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights is currently hearing submissions from Northern Ireland’s usual third sector suspects, none of whom have pointed out that no such rights exist, so ‘international law’ should soon be back in favour.
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American documentary maker Michael Moore has visited Belfast to plug his latest film, which was courageous, considering his last intercession on these shores helped killed his live Channel 4 show in 1999. The centrepiece ‘gotcha’ of its first episode was a phone call to Portadown police station to ask when the RUC would decommission. The call was taken by a desk sergeant who calmly said he wanted to work unarmed and was delighted that all sides had agreed to remove the gun. Clearly unprepared for peace process platitudes, Moore become increasingly angry as the joke fell on him. Even An Phoblacht described the result as “aimless and inane” from the “once incisive Moore.” His show was cancelled within weeks.
newton@irishnews.com
