THE vow of celibacy for Catholic clergy is a topic that divides the churchgoing faithful.
There's a clear argument that dwindling numbers of people following a vocation and an ageing population of priests and nuns means that reform is inevitable.
It had always seemed odd to me that people would seek marital advice from a man who had never been married, never had to pay bills, deal with the pressures of raising children or the pain of a relationship breakdown or infidelity.
The Church argues that a person doesn't need to be an adulterer to counsel other adulterers.
They would say that priests understand the sacrifices and sanctity of marriage in a way that few others do. ``Who better to counsel a person in the ways of keeping the marital vow of fidelity than one who keeps the vow of celibacy?'' claimed a recent article on the subject in a faith publication.
But the fact remains that there are priests who aren't keeping that vow and those priests, many of whom are much loved by their parishioners, are being left with a terrible dilemma.
Many men have entered the priesthood and then felt torn at having to choose between the Church and a family and not having children is often too big a sacrifice to make.
Priests who are gay find themselves wrestling not just with a vow of celibacy but feeling stigmatised as 'sinful' by a Church that preaches against homosexuality.
Imagine the turmoil of those men and women who are forced to preach against same sex marriage while trying to conceal their own sexuality.
And it doesn't have to be like that because, as the last few days have shown, parishioners when faced with choosing between a priest that keeps his vows or one that shows kindness and compassion almost always choose the latter.
The Irish News editorial staff debated long and hard as to whether or not to publish the details of the departure from duties of Armagh priest Fr Rory Coyle.
And in fact a decision was only made to publicise a much more sanitised explanation for his sabbatical when details started to appear on an online blog and it became clear were also likely to be made public in a much more lurid manner than this paper would ever contemplate.
The editorial team and indeed the Catholic Church spokesman we contacted for comment were immediately concerned with Fr Coyle's welfare and how we would report on a matter of public interest without causing him further distress.
And just as we have reported on previous incidents where priests have temporarily left their posts, such as Fr Ciaran Dallat in west Belfast who was accused of having an affair with a female parishioner, we did so in what I believe was a responsible manner. I am and always will be proud to work for a responsible publication such as the Irish News.
I've read the explicit messages Fr Coyle posted on gay dating site Grindr and have seen the pictures he sent to a young man he was trying to meet over several weeks.
Only scant details of the messages and none of the pictures were carried in this paper.
That didn't stop an online barrage of messages from people who thought that a priest breaching his vows or having a gay relationship was his personal business.
And that heartened me, for I have long believed clerical celibacy to be an unnatural state. Leaving aside the physical side of things, the lack of affection, human interaction and a life companion to talk to at the end of a day's work must make for a very lonely and isolated existence.
Irish News readers, well those who use social media at least, seem to agree with me on that point.
If they like and respect a priest they don't seem to care about whether or not he is adhering to his vows or the fact he's dating either men or women.
That alone should be a reason to reopen the debate into the future of the Catholic Church and whether to survive it needs to change.
Alas, while I forsee a time when heterosexual married men might be permitted in the priesthood, I'm unconvinced that an institution that is against same sex marriage and released a statement prior to the election urging Catholics to question their candidates at the door about their position on the subject, will ever allow openly gay men in the priesthood.
The Church stands politically allied with the DUP on this subject, if a high ranking member of that party who supported its position on same sex marriage was then found posting messages and arranging to meet men on a gay dating site would we cover that story?
Well, yes we would because that would be a matter of public interest, not least to the gay community who feel victimised by the repressive views of state, right wing politicians and Church.
It's time for real debate about the subject, to look at how the Catholic Church can evolve and survive the pressures of modern society.
And finally I send my support and thoughts to Fr Rory Coyle, he is a man with a lot of hard decisions to make but the support of the parishioners who clearly love him gives me hope that he'll do well in whatever path he chooses.
