IT WAS a funny old year: funny ha-ha, funny peculiar, funny stupid, funny barking and funny weird. It was the year of gay cakes, straight racism, sold-out spoofs of the Bible, pink cyclists, Orange protest camps, cancelled country and western concerts and the passing of Ian Paisley. It was the year when two high-profile atheists could fill a cinema and not one Free Presbyterian - not a single one - could be bothered to protest.
It was the year when everything but the kitchen sink was thrown at Gerry Adams and yet he and Sinn Féin continued their relentless ascent of the opinion polls. It was the year when both Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness hinted at the potential collapse of the assembly and then borrowed enough dosh to pay off civil servants, underwrite an unspecified 'shared future' and keep all their balls in the air for another 18 months.
It was the year when NI21 imploded, when TUV/Ukip expanded, when the DUP lost its position as the majority voice of unionism, when the UUP stayed still, when Anna Lo underperformed for Alliance and when the doctor leading the SDLP failed to notice that his party was stuck on a trolley in an unlit corridor while hooked up to a low-voltage life-support machine. It was also the year when an opinion poll confirmed that only 10 per cent of us believed that the assembly/executive was doing either a 'very good' or even a 'good' job.
It was the year when politicians from all parties were briefing journalists and mere pundits that the institutions were "unfit for purpose", "utterly dysfunctional" and "likely to collapse any time". And yet it ended with those same politicians telling us what a wonderful job they had done in pulling us back from the brink - albeit without bothering to resolve any of the long-term problems. Hmm.
Anyway, it's that time of year when columnists are expected to read the runes, poke through the tea leaves and make a call on what they think is likely to happen. So here it is, Old Kane's Almanac for 2015.
January: After consulting their post-Christmas bank balances and the latest opinion polls, MLAs overwhelmingly endorse a budget that keeps them employed until 2016. "We are doing this for the man in the street," says Martin McGuinness, "unless, of course, that man is an Orangeman who also wants a parade on the street."
February: The assembly rejects plans for a new casino in Belfast, claiming that it already holds the monopoly for 'craps' and reckless gambling here.
March: Sinn Féin and the DUP announce legislation to decrease the number of MLAs. From now on it will be restricted to just DUP and Sinn Féin members.
April: The unionist parties announce a pact for the general election. In a joint statement they confirm, "we have established the Federation of United Kingdom Unionist Parties. We will work together to ensure a FUKUP candidate in every constituency."
May: Prime Minister Nigel Farage embarks on a world tour of friendly nations and potential allies. He returns the following afternoon. June: Peter Robinson is finally forced to stand down as DUP leader after a visit from the men in grey Poots. He is replaced by a human.
July: NI21 merges with Nasa but still fails to get off the ground August: Gerry Adams denounces a "relentlessly negative media campaign" to prove that he had a 'provisional' licence before he was allowed to drive his own political vehicle.
September: The third part of the BBC Spotlight investigation into expenses accuses Sinn Féin of setting up their own private contract company to furnish and fit out their own constituency offices. A Sinn Féin spokesman insists that the "Our Shelves Alone" company isn't breaking any existing rules.
October: It is announced that there will be no 'crisis talks' this year after the White House confirms it has run out of middle aged politicos with time on their hands, nothing to do, or a memoir about to be published.
November: The SDLP press office says that nothing should be read into the fact that 'our annual conference is being sponsored by Dignitas'.
December: The plans for an official opposition in the assembly are scrapped when fears emerge that David Ford could become 'shadow' first minister. "That's just to much to put up with," say 107 unnamed sources.
Of course, all of this comes with a caveat, chief of which is that I'm drinking while I write it. Happy new year to all of you!