DESPITE my recent conversion to the joys of running in an effort to stave off middle-aged spread, I'm spending more and more time on the sofa. My television has become a Star Wars-style tractor beam pulling me back to the dark side. Suddenly, it seems like there's far too much on TV and barely enough time to view it between regular trips to the kitchen for cups of tea and biscuits. Thanks to shows like Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Southcliffe and Top of The Lake, my eyes are going squarer (or rather, rectangular-er) by the day even as my gut plots its sugar-fuelled takeover. This is a worrying development, although admittedly one with historical precedent - a couple of years ago, I had a serious DVD box set habit. I found it impossible to resist feast-sized portions of quality TV available on a schedule that suited me rather than the fickle advertising-driven needs of broadcasters. Intricately plotted shows like The Wire were best enjoyed in concentrated blocs, not the weekly drip-feed imposed by whichever channel had stuck it in an ungodly graveyard slot (BBC3, was it?), while clever comedies such as The Office US, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Arrested Development seemed tailor-made to be consumed in batches of three/four episodes.
However, TV has fought back since then. BBC iPlayer and improved 'on demand' services from cable providers like TiVo and 'series link' ensure we never miss our favourite shows and enable us to enjoy them in multi-episode chunks well before the DVDs hit the shops. Trans-Atlantic lag-time is also becoming a thing of the past.
Increasingly, we no longer have to wait months to see the latest US hits.
Sky Atlantic brings us every new episode of Game of Thrones immediately following its US broadcast while the online-based subscription service Netflix does likewise for The Killing US and Breaking Bad - the latter having just begun its highly anticipated final run of episodes today. Such developments are in response to internet piracy, which sees most hit American shows uploaded and ready for torrent-based distribution literally within an hour of them being broadcast stateside.
However, quite apart from the whole breaking the law bit, torrenting is a pretty fiddly and often unpredictable business even for experienced computer users. Most folks will find it much easier just to pay a small monthly fee to a legit provider in return for a reliable high-quality service that keeps Johnny Law out of the equation. I know I do. Having signed up for a free one-month trial of Netflix to watch the recent series of Arrested Development, sadly it proved to be as underwhelming as one of Gob's magic tricks.
However, my subscription itself turned out to be far from a 'huge mistake'. Quite apart from Netflix's incredible selection of 1980s video shop 'classics' - when was the last time you watched the young James Spader in Tuff Turf or a pre-Bond Brosnan cleaning up a small Irish town in Taffin? -- I've stuck around as a paying Netflix customer for their TV selections. Perhaps all too aware of their anaemic selection of movies (seriously, Con Air is listed under 'new releases') Netflix have gone a step further by backing its own original and exclusive TV programming, such as the acclaimed remake of House of Cards starring Kevin Spacey, the fan-demanded fourth series of Arrested Development and their hit Orange Is The New Black. There's a treasure trove of older shows on there too. I'm wondering how I've managed to survive so long without Hank Moody in my life. It turns out Channel 5's awful promos for the David Duchovny-starring Californication completely failed to convey its genius writing and superb performances.
Thus, as my runners continue to gather dust by the door, the kettle is on and yet another packet of Ginger Nuts has been decanted into a bowl. The sofa is calling and those remaining 31 episodes of Hank-based goodness aren't going to watch themselves.
Yes, the sloth is strong with this one.