LOYALIST murder victim Michael McGoldrick's mother Bridie still remembers laughing with her son and husband days before his killing 25 years ago.
Then aged 31, with one young daughter and a son due in a few months, Michael had worked hard to get his English and politics degree from Queen's University in Belfast.
He had worked as a taxi driver during his studies and had planned to become a teacher.
"On the Wednesday before his graduation Michael got his hair cut, really cropped," Mrs McGoldrick said.
"I said to him 'son what did you do?' He said to me 'don't worry wee Bridie' - he always called me wee Bridie because he was such a big, tall fella - 'it'll grow again'."
Just a few days after the graduation, Mr McGoldrick was shot dead by members of Billy Wright's renegade UVF unit on July 8 1996 at the height of the Drumcree parading dispute.
The Lurgan man's body was found slumped over the wheel of his car close to Aghalee, Co Antrim, the morning after picking up a fare.
A court heard the killing had been a "birthday present" for Wright. Mr McGoldrick was murdered after loyalists dropped plans to kidnap three priests from a parochial house in Co Armagh.
Loyalist Clifford McKeown was later convicted of the murder.
Now in her late seventies, his mother Bridie told The Irish News her only son was "just sunshine".
"You should have heard his laugh. He would have taken the house down. His presence was so big," she said.
"It's so unnatural for any parent to bury their child. He was only 31. His birthday would have been on June 19. I just can't picture him in his fifties. He will always be 31.
"I can go through near enough every day of his life. I thank God that he was born into love and that he died in love."
A memorial Mass will be celebrated at St Anthony's Church in Craigavon today.
Born and raised in Scotland, Michael, like his mother, spoke with a strong Scottish accent.
Mrs McGoldrick said she and her family had tried to ignore the Troubles.
"We never had any trouble or spoke ill of anyone or were involved in anything that wasn't right," she said.
"We lived in a bubble. But my regret is that if I wasn't part of the solution, I was part of the problem."
Mrs McGoldrick said her son may be "physically gone but he's in my heart and soul".
"He'll always be there and I know I'm just waiting for the day when he can get his arms round me again," she said.
"His daddy used to say 'night, night son, maybe I'll see you tomorrow'. This went on for a year (after Michael died). I would say 'sure you know you're not going to see him tomorrow'. He would look at me and say 'Bridie, if God calls me tonight I'll see my son tomorrow'."
Michael's daughter Emma was seven at the time of his death. His wife Sadie was six months pregnant with their son Andrew.
"The children were lucky that they had a good mother," Mrs McGoldrick said.
"I love them. They'll be my grandchildren until the day I die."
Following Michael's death, Mrs McGoldrick and her late husband Michael Snr set up the United Christian Aid charity in their son's memory to help destitute families in Romania and Moldova.
Mrs McGoldrick said the charity had provided a vital lifeline but she had been forced to close it two years ago due to severe back pain.
Doctors have told her that six discs in her back are damaged. Now "pretty much house-bound", she has difficulty walking and suffers daily pain.
She said it "broke my heart" to close the charity but still helps fundraise for impoverished families in Malawi.
"I still help support two villages in Malawi," she said. "People still give me money for them and are very kind."
She added: "I'm still breathing. God still has something for me to do."
Mrs McGoldrick said that her and her late husband's strong faith had helped them to forgive Michael's killer.
"Some days I feel as though it has just happened," she said.
"I did not forgive the man who killed my son. It was God that gave me the grace to do it. I would be impossible for any human being. It was God that gave me the grace."
She added: "If my child was born in love and died in love why would I have hatred in my heart?
"I have no hatred in my heart whatsoever."
Michael's father, Michael McGoldrick Snr, died aged 63 in 2006 while on one of his regular trips to bring aid to Moldova. He collapsed with septicaemia brought on by an abscess.
Mrs McGoldrick said she grieves for her husband and son every day.
"Both of them must just be waiting for me," she said.
She added: "I'm not amazing. I'm just a mother who loved and loved and loved."
Mrs McGoldrick said whenever she speaks to young people she feels hopeful for the future.
"None of them want to go back. They don't want any violence," she said.
"It's so sad because politicians are still fighting, still trying to get one up on the other. That's no good for the people."
